The Letters #1

Again, the #1 indicates that there will be #2, #3 and so on. Well, I vowed to myself that, I'll make it a habit to write letters one day before the end of each year, means 31st Dec (and I do hope I would be able to comply). There is a phrase, "Live each day as your last, and you would die with no regret". I don't know when would I be leaving this world, but there are plenty of words that I would like to say to some of my fellow friends. However, seeing that I'm not much of a person who could really express my feelings to another party, I think, converting those into words would most probably be better than keeping everything to myself. At least, this is the first step I undertake to "expose" my inner-self, right? Anyway, I'll be utterly blunt here and I apologize if I were to offend anyone of you. And, I'm sorry again that I couldn't write letter to literally everyone that I've met. Please don't hold any hard-feelings against me, okay? Please?

* The letters below are not in chronological manner, nor do they have any specific arrangement in terms of priority because people, who appear in this post have brought significant impact in my life to a certain extant. Thanks.

Dear Jimui,

So, we were classmates from Standard 1 to Standard 3. I remember when we were in Standard 1, you, me, and another student (I forget her name) took part in Story Telling Competition and all three of us got the Top 3 places. You are very good in, you know, story telling, giving speech, singing, mathematics, and also study. I was like, "OMG! I'm so lucky to be in the same class with you and be a friend of yours!" However, ever since we graduated from elementary school, we lost contact until the day I bumped into you in tuition center. We were waiting for the previous class to dismiss. After catching up, we sat together in the class and from there, we become tuition-mates, to good friends, to jimui! Even we no longer have tuition after Form 5, we have been in contact until now!

To be honest, we seldom talked about family stuff. We often met up for "yumcha" and shopping session. Oh, and also, exchange movies & dramas. But as time passes, we know more about each other and, thanks for all the scoldings which I truly deserve. I know I appear to be happy-go-lucky at times, but hmm.. As I told you, when one of the interview questions went, "If I ask your bestie, what does she want you to improve, what do you think your bestie would say?" I know you would surely say, "Please don't be so naive." It's weird, you know? I was born like, a week earlier than you? But you appear to be more mature than me. I always thought the world is like, you know, those cartoon, or like fairy tale, easily trusting that good things will happen to good people kind of stuff. But you will always wake me up, and say, the world is the most cruel and dangerous place of all. 

When we talk over the phone, we could easily spend hours chit-chatting regardless how expensive the bill would be (but I think I should control myself already.. It's a bad habit right?). I remember telling you how I kinda-lost my sister when I attempted to please both sides. From my experience, I would say, I could never thank her enough for the priceless lesson. She has taught me that, a bestie will always be better than any guy or any relationship. I vowed to myself that, even if I had a relationship, I'll never jeopardize our jimui-ship, for it's a more precious thing to treasure. If you lost a bf, you could always get a new one. But if you lost a jimui? Nothing can ever replace her place in you. That's why, no worries, I've learnt the hard way and I'll always prioritize you no matter how hard the situation gets (especially when there is a conflict with my "future" bf.. If and only if, I had one lar). Haha...

Thanks for making our dream a reality, dear jimui. I've always dreamed to go for a vacation without my family along and you supported me all the way, and be there for me through ups and downs, especially when I appear to be silly enough to trust "that uncle".. LOL.. The trip to Singapore is indeed a great start for us, a new tradition that we promise to keep, to spend the Christmas Eve together. I could never thank God enough to have you in my life, jimui. I know, you are a bit hard-core at times and I'm sorry that you have been tolerating me all the times, as if you are taking care of a little child. And I'm sorry that you have been worrying about me a lot, especially my perception on guys and the world. No worries, if I ever have a bf, I'll sure introduce him to you and make him pass your tests.. Hahaha...

Thanks for always looking out for me, dear... ❤
Remember our promise ar... :D

Dear N,

I don't really remember when was the first time we met, but we were in the same class during foundation, just different gang. You joined AT's gang (the Chinese gang, I suppose) and I joined Indians and few China students (had a bit of cultural exchanges there, I believe). We didn't really talk much to each other as I recall, though we organized F-Night together (I was in the management team and you were the leader for Publicity team). Then, you studied International Business (I chose Business Admin actually). Usually when people choose the course they want to study, they make sure that they are accompanied by friends. We, on the other hand, joined the course alone, and that made the two of us. I was shy back then for the fact that, we weren't close in foundation but suddenly we talked and lepak (hangout) with each other. As time passed, we become more than classmates, we become assignment buddies, makan buddies, lepak kaki and we got attached. You are the first person that I told of having a God-brother. We started to share more, even secrets. And there, we started to see each other as sisters.

I told you almost everything, including all the thoughts and feelings during my emo-period. I remember I told you the most when we went swimming. You have always been there for me when I need a pair of listening ears. And there you are, nothing more, nothing less than a pair of ears. You won't say anything as to share me some of your wisdom (Oh, wait, you have no more wisdom tooth, do you? jkjk). All you ever said, was "listen to your heart", exactly the same thing I said to you when you came to me with your doubts. I remember sobbing to you over the phones for a few times, crying my lungs out when I found out the other side of truth. Oh, one thing I don't understand: why didn't you reveal "his" true color as soon as you found out? If you did, everything would have ended way earlier! Not that I'm blaming you or anything when things have passed. I'm just curious, if you could tell my true colours straight to my face, why didn't you do the same with "his" true colour?? Why??

Things changed when you get tired of me. Ya, tired and sicked of me. They say, time reveals one's true color, and you find me a selfish bitch! For the first time in my life, a person spoke so blunt straight to my face, each and every words blurted out disdainfully at me. I could feel how despair you were to find out who I really am. And, as if it wasn't bad enough, I provoked you for more! But you know what, all I can remember now, is your face and your voice, rather than the disparaging remarks, honestly speaking. And I think we had cold war for a few days? Nah, I can't remember the details, but ever since, things are no longer the way it was before. We used to "makan" alternatively between cafeteria and bakery (depends on which day we washed our hair), but what happened since this year? We hardly eaten in bakery because you insisted on cafeteria, no problem, I complied despite of the fact that I would want the otherwise. But I know, none of this worth bringing up because all these are insignificant to show you my effort to fix things which has broken.

I still remember the night we went for a walk. We were talking about friendship (or sisterhood, if you feel comfortable of me to pronounce us with that) though I can't really remember when it really was, during Year One, Year Two? Nah, that's not the point. The point is, you told me a story between you and an Indian friend of yours back in high school, how both of you were soooo close yet ended up badly unfriending each other. Do you still remember what did I ask you? "What if the two of us ended up that way? Do you think there will be a day, where we are no longer sisters anymore?" You glared me into the eyes and said, "NO! It will never happen and I'll never let it happen." You have no idea how much those words mean to me, N.

Made this just in time before you "left" for NZ.
A "parting gift" that I didn't manage to give out.

I'm sorry for neglecting you back then. I know, everything was my fault especially since I've gotten myself a brother. He expressed  his dissatisfaction when I spent too much time with you and let him rot at the corner; you on the other hand, showed me faces and accusing me for spending time with him and abandoned you, especially during lunch. I.. I really had no idea as to what I should do! Both of you are my siblings, all I ever wanted to do, was to have peace with both. I tried, hard enough to please both sides. I think you might have already knew that, I ate lunch twice at times right? After makan with you, I had to teman him and makan again (vice versa). I don't mind eating twice, seriously. I just don't understand why couldn't three of us makan together. Am I some property which people can claim their possession on? Why did both of you only want to makan with me alone? Why? I know, I know it's my fault for not having the courage to speak up, to lash my feelings out like the way you two did, I know I'm such a coward for not having the bloody GUTS to let my feelings heard (I'm glad that I studied CCM before I die). You know what I've learnt? We are only human, we can't please everyone. There is no way to please both sides, for greed has no end. Its either you secure one, or lose the other. Thank you very much for the lesson. I'm glad that you found a substitution during my absence, who is keen to help others with their studies, a person you can't live without.

I'm sorry that I have failed you in any possible ways that human could ever imagine. I'm sorry that I didn't attend the ball as promised. I'm sorry that I didn't take the initiative to amend wrongs. I'm sorry that I didn't try hard enough to salvage what's left. I'm sorry that we didn't go for our last walk before leaving INTI. I know there's no point apologizing but please know how grateful I am, when you are willing to take photos with me on our last day in INTI. I've always like to take photos with you, and I'm glad that you ain't holding any grudges against me for what I've done. I know, I know people get tired easily, and I know you have grown tired trying to fix things back to the way it was. Thanks for inviting me for a movie with you all in Seremban, (The Sea of Monster if not mistaken). How I wish everything could be as easy as we want it to be. I know this may sound ridiculous but I sincerely hope that you could forgive me from the bottom of your heart and accept me for who I am. I've never seen you cry for me before, but regardless whether you believe it or not, tears rolling in my eyes the moment I'm typing this. There are countless of wonderful memories that I'll always treasure dearest to my heart, N. They say, time heals? I know the wounds in us will always be there, but I pray for the day, that we could be as close as before, as if everything was just a nightmare. Again, please find it in your heart to accept my apologies for all the silly things that I've done.

Wishing you all the best in your future undertakings, N. We both come from a not-so-perfect family and we know the pain. Since nothing is perfect, it's best to appreciate what we have, right? Wishing you eternal happiness with Mr K aite! Remember to invite me to your wedding, k? I love you, sis. ❤

I like this photo very much ❤

Dear TL,

I was wondering if I should recap everything from being strangers to where we are today. But, seeing that you already had it clearly described in your blog, I figured, its better to write my side of the story, I mean, what I wish you to know. (See? Its what I want you to know, not what you should know)

What I really wanted to say is, I can never thank God enough, to have met you and have you in my life. To be frank, I didn't have a good impression on you at first, and I even had the thoughts to avoid you. But somehow or rather, without any apparent reasons, we started to get closer. Wait, perhaps it was because of your personal charisma. I've always adored people who have strong command of English and are of high confidence. Being able to group with you for some assignments have really helped me to improve a lot. Seriously. I could see tremendous improvements throughout the length of time, especially my English. Though I might not be able to be someone like you, who possess strong leadership, good networking skills, astonishingly impressive investment skills and extraordinarily broad general knowledge, I'm glad that you have been pushing me to the edge and helped shaping me into who I am today.

Timing has never been our strong suit. I wouldn't say we met at the wrong timing, but everything else after that was soooo wrong. I shouldn't be so naive. Oh, speaking of which, I think I've become more mature and independent thanks to you, gor. I remember how I used to hold grudges against you when you treated me like a ruthless tyrant, always have relatively high expectation on me than the rest of the group members, and solemnly rejected my requests for extension, with no mercy. But at the end, you didn't really use my work. Fine, these are all in the past. No point bringing up the pasts, right?

I've seen few blog posts of yours dedicated to your gf and I must say, they are lovely. I'm glad that you have finally moved on and thank you for proving me right, "No one is irreplaceable". I know how much you had tried to hold on and I bet, you even thought that all the arguments that brought up by me were intentionally up for a certain purpose, eg: tests to see if you are sincere or how much you value the r/ship or something. But FYI, they happened because, nah... I don't think it would make much difference anyway. Just wanted to say, I'm honoured to have appeared in one of your posts dedicated for me. But, I'm sorry that I can't be able to do the same. I'm afraid that, if I were to write a post just for you, it would be far too long than the longest I've written in my blog so far.

You have always said, "Feel with your heart, not think with your brain." But, there is also a saying, "Love with your heart, but bring your brain with you." I guess, I'm just a person who would not fall heart over head for someone because, I'll always try my best to rationalize almost everything, if not everything, though it may take months or years. So, speaking of rationalizing, in my personal opinion, I think there are several reasons that you chose to hold on. It could be either, (i)"I can't live without you"; (ii) "I've always been making the right decisions and choices, how could I let this ruin my image?"; or (iii) "I've always been on the victory side, how could I loss it all this time? My ego will never allow it!" I'm sorry that I crashed your ego into pieces. But, I've always been wanting to ask you something, "What do you really see me as when we were in our first sem this year, actually??" Because I've learnt that, you are really good at multitasking between people. And, I'm hell sure that, you already have someone else (though you said it was just some water testing) since last year yet you came and messed up with me. That's why, I'm glad that I didn't spend my birthday with you this year, and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Anyway, I've been telling myself not to make the same mistakes again and thus, rest assured that things which you may be worried about, or what I've been worried about, will never happen again. Since you have made the line clearer than it was before, I'll do my part of the equation to let it stay that way. Everyday the moment I wake up, I'll tell myself that, I have you as a brother who will always protect me no matter what the world throws at me and will always treat me just the same no matter how much I've changed. You are right, "The only constant thing in life, is change". Thanks for all the hardships that you have put me through because, I'll definitely do my best to become who you wish me to be, more battle-hardened. I'll never forget the way you yelled at me back in the INTIMA office as well as SAO office. The scars that you left in me, will never be something which could be brushed off even the years rolled on. However, I'm glad that you were there for me when N and I were not in good terms. I don't know why or even how that you could always see me through. You could even tell that I was about to cry no matter how hard I held it back. Thanks for being there for me, like literally there when I needed a shoulder to cry on. I really appreciate that. You see, how complicated my feelings are, for you? Ahem...

Once again, I've never regretted meeting you at all. In fact, like I've said, I'm grateful that we are at where we are today, and the fact that, you have finally found someone to hold on to, to die for, and be your major source of motivation to keep striving for success. I really wish to apologize for all the harms that I've caused you but I don't think it would help ease the pain anyway, so, I'll wish you instead. I'll pray for your well beings, health and happiness. We both have mistakes, and I'm sorry that you just can't accept me for who I really am. Wait, can you see how ironic it is? You've always wanted me to become a better person by changing some of my bad habits/behaviours/personalities/attitudes etc. And of course, I would like to give it a try, but, if I've changed according to what you suggested, I'll no longer be the real me. Then, when I've finally changed to what you desired (bit by bit), you can't seem to accept the new version of me, eg: more independent? Anyway, since you say you will accept me just the way I am, I could only hope that, this is not just another promise that you would revoke one day. Because, you are my brother, and because, I want the same thing for you as much as what you want for me. Wishing you eternal happiness with the one you loved, whom worthy of your devotion.

P/S Promise me that you will always be loyal to your gf/future wife. Thank you.

N's monkey with Yuen Yuen.
I'm glad that Yuen Yuen is under your custody now.
You are indeed my angel in disguise, gor.
And I couldn't have asked for more.

Dear CH,

Hmm.. We met in a seminar like, three or four years ago? Then we started to chat and ahem.. Ya, talked about topics where some of which are.. Fine.. I refuse to share it here.. Haha.. For once, I thought we were getting somewhat closer. But that's the thing that scared me off. Wait, not that we are suitable pun, right? We have too much communication barriers and differences in believes. Somehow or rather, I don't understand what you are trying to say, and you don't understand my point of view. I think it's my problem right? I seem to have the same problems with many other people, as if I'm still too childish and you all are way more mature than me. Rest assured, I'm on my way to where you are. After all, four years is not a short distance eh?

We went for a movie once, and erm, sorry to have troubled you because, you didn't seem to be as eager as I was to watch the movie. Haha.. But still, thank you for that. And also, thanks for treating me as an adult. Though I still think and talk like a girl, but thank you so much for trying to explain things to me despite of the difficulties faced. I was told that I am such a stubborn head and most of the people easily get annoyed by me. I'm sorry if I irritated you. But thanks for sharing your knowledge and experience with me. I started to contemplate of ways to get to where I want to be and you have been giving me a hand. I really appreciate that :) I should have taken a photo with you when we went out last time. You see lar, no photo to show here already. Ishh..

Dear CT,

Do you still remember our high school life? We had been in the same class for four years, and the same sitting arrangement for four years! How epic. Hehe.. You always sat in front, while I was always at the back. You were always the Top 3 in studies while I couldn't even squeeze into Top 10 (among 200+ students). Hmm.. You are kind of nerd, you know? I mean, you seldom speak to people (even until now?). But you do join those guys in online games. And there's when Mr A came in? You two had scandals before right? :p

Still remember in our class graduation booklet, what the "committees" branded us? You were in the "leng lui" category while me and other three were in the "Silencer" category. OMG!! I wonder how did I suppress my urges to talk back then, seriously! I mean, we weren't that close back then. But, after a few times of hanging out, shopping together, going for "yumcha", talking about life and so on, we have been closer than before, don't you agree? As time passes, you've seen my true colour which is somewhat different with the high-school-me? LOL Actually, some times, I do prefer to go shopping with you in the sense that, you always have the determination in controlling your spending. When you wanted to buy something, you think first, it that a need or want. If it's a want, without second thoughts, you would abandon your "thirst" to own that thing. If it's a need, you'll weight the necessity and the value of the products (price vs satisfaction). You are indeed someone who I wish to become, you know? Especially when I start working soon (with limited hard-earned money). That's why you know what? I'll sure "jio" you out for shopping more frequent because, I need you to train me. LOL

Hmm.. On a separate note, I know you find no need to do so, but I really need to say this. Perhaps you should TRY being more sociable? You are too quiet at times! Like what your cousin sister said, you should bring yourself to the crowd, voice out your mind, chit chatting, messing around etc etc. I mean, just take your cousin sister as example lar. Even I, myself wish to be like her wey (I should have studied psychology, maybe?) And hor, if you are so quiet and so "zai nv", how do you get a bf? I mean, your work would most probably be indoors, right? With limited circle of colleagues, you already have limited choices yet you are still so introvert? Try lar.. Then let me know the outcomes.. I know deep down inside, you are "craving" for someone to love you right? (Maybe I exaggerated a little?) You, YOU, totally deserve to be loved, okay? Don't always think that you don't deserve it. You do! Give yourself a chance. Don't be 剩女.. LOL Wait, I just realized, that drama right, is like watching 媒人穿线.. Haha..

Anyway, studies is still more important lar. You still have one year plus to go, so after that only introduce me your bf also can lar.. Haha.. Thanks for always showing me the other side of possibilities, whereby, you would always think of something which "ordinary" people can't think of. I'm not saying that you are a weirdo, I'm just saying that, you are unique in your own way ;) Find one day we have a sleep-over lar, want? Jio some of our high-school besties and we chat through the night lar.. Hehe.. (Just like what Blair likes to do, girls night) ^^ Don't be so shy shy already lar, okay? You are indeed a nice girl to be with. Any guy would be lucky to have you :)

Eh, don't be Emo-Queen already, okay? :)

Dear ZY,
Luckily I joined the club lar, ZY, or else, I would never have made a friend like you. Hmm.. Let me think.. At first we weren't this close, right? I can't remember since when, but I'm glad that you have been treating me like little sister :) Wait, I know. We went to your 21st birthday party!! Hehe.. Then, you we had a gathering at Sunway Pyramid, then we went to PD, then we went ice skating etc etc.. :D

You have always been giving me advice and sharing your experience with me. I know you have been chaging a few jobs but rest assured, once you have figured out what you want to achieve in your life, you will be on full swing to get there! I think it's normal for fresh grads like us to change jobs? I'm not sure even though some of you seniors told me this, some seems to have found their passion in their first job. Don't be emo, dear. I know you have been stressed out in your current job but always remember to get enough rest. Remember to give some time to yourself, your mind and soul, to seek for what you really love to do. Thanks for all the motivation and courage that you have been giving me, dear. Never give up k? Wishing you all the best in your future undertakings. I'll always support you :)

Please tell me that we will go for more outings again??
I really enjoyed spending time with you =DD

Dear MY,

You are the most popular person I've ever met, MY! Wait, let me have some brief reminiscing first. I was selling you tickets and you were nearly got offended by my response when you said you are a banana, right? OMG.. I'm sorry, it was unconsciously done, it was never my intention to offend you, I'm serious. In fact, I'm glad that we become good friends and talking with you helps improve my English as well (though my slang is a bit bizarre). Okay, why do I say that you are a popular person? I think it's due to the fact that you like to observe people. You say, you are intrigued by human's behaviour and studying business has never been you first choice. You know what, you have this kind of talent and you should probably utilize it. Consider being a PR, perhaps? I know you like meeting up new people and make new friends :)

Still remember we had a heart-to-heart talk over FB-pm? I'm glad that you are willing to spend time typing everything out and I'm sorry if it was a waste of your time. However, you have no idea how grateful I was, to hear someone telling me the truth, not much of a confrontation but more of a confession of how you all feel about me. I know, you didn't and you can't speak on behalf of the others. But I'm glad that at least I know roughly how others see me. The content of the pm is one of the reasons that holds me back from trying to delete my FB account, to be honest. Please understand my dilemmas even if I decided to do so, k? ;) Speaking of the pm-content, I still remember you said "not group mate kind of sort"... It's funny to see you asking whether I want to join your group for assignment when you were lacking of people. C'mon, I'm not that "thick face" yet. If you said so, I'll comply.

I'll never forget the day when you were "taking care" of me. Ya, I was sick and I didn't want to trouble anyone. My whole body was aching and I'm glad that you were there for me. You have no idea how much your kind gestures mean to me though there were only few Panadol pills. You are also the one who still treats me as a friend when others were awkwardly avoiding me, be it eye contact or verbal contact. Is this what they called "compartmentalized"? Anyway, I'm sorry if I've frustrated you often enough. You have been very kind to me and I really appreciate that. It's my pleasure to have you as friend, seriously. Wishing you all the best in the future ya. I know no matter what you do, you'll always strive your best to excel in it. You have been very good in both academics and co-curricular. And I'm sure you'll make the best out of your life too! Take care! :)

Our last professional shot together.

Dear FY,
So, we are from the same intake? Or, you are one batch earlier than me? Hmm.. Does it matter? Haha.. All that matters, is that, you have been kind to me, very kind, when I erm, chose to "isolate" myself sometimes. We had been in the same section for several subjects back in Year 1 and 2, but we didn't really talk much right? (As what I could recall) Only when it nearly comes to an end, we kind of realized, "Since when are we so close ar?" Haha.. Time flies, seriously.

"People start to appreciate things only when they started to loss them." How true this phrase is eh? We always take things for granted only when it reaches the end, do we start to treasure every moment that we have left. We (few of us) have already graduated but you are still "stuck" there. The sudden feeling of separation emerged. We started to take photos more frequently, started to go out "makan" more frequently etc etc. Oh, I'm glad that you were willing to accompany me for Despicable Me in Seremban you know? The situation would have been a lot more awkward should you had not been there. Haha...

You are always ready to devote yourself for others and that's the nice thing about you. You are willing to spend time with me, talk to me in attempt to understand me even while others didn't bother to know what's really going on. You tried your best to put yourself in my shoes and talk me out. You experienced what I've been through and I'm glad that you shared them with me. I really appreciate everything that you have done for me, FY. I know you are a person who easily get attached to, and that's why, some drastic measures have to be done. Just know that, if you can't reach me via FB, you could always reach my cell, okay? Thanks for all the care that you have given me. I'll never forget a friend like you and we shall meet up soon? Hehe.. All the best in your studies ya! You are indeed a good friend to be treasured. :)

Looking forward to seeing you soon :)

Dear Minion,
Sorry for calling you that. See? My friend above is of the same initial as you, MY. Haha.. First of all, I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you first moved in. I could have brought you around, showed you some nice places for food and so on. But I was tied up with internship and I feel so sorry. I'm glad that we did leave notes for each other even though we didn't really know how each other looks like. Haha..

At first, I thought you were an introvert, and I bet you had the same thought too, right? Because every time when I came back from classes, I switched on my laptop to do my stuff, then I straight went to sleep. Didn't really spend much time talking to you. And this is the thing that I've been regretting for. I was too engrossed with studies, (or even dramas at times.. lol) that I spent more time for myself than with you. I'm sorry that I'm quite lazy and the room is always in such a mess. I think we seldom clean the room? Or we did it without each other realizing it? Haha.. Thanks for tolerating me all this while, minion. :)

So, when we started to know more about each other, we could actually talk for 1-2 hours straight! How surprising eh? Wait, was I the one who did most of the talking? Haha.. Thanks for helping me out with your professional advice when I desperately need it for my assignment. Thanks to you, one of our assignments got highest mark! Hehe.. Then, we started to share food? I mean, junk food lar, to be more exact. LOL.. Wait, not junk food, you eat only organic food wey! I should learn from you to be super healthy lar! Hehe.. Speaking of which, it's nice to know that you have, erm bee-hive at home? Oh, you have no idea how much you enlightened me with your bee-harvesting stories when I was so confused what to include in my assignment! :)

You are right, we should have seized each and every moment while we still could. It felt different to leave you than to be apart from my other friends (though we will no longer be in INTI, at least I know, we shared a lot of memories together). You, however, it's really my fault that I seldom spend time with you to create more memories worth treasuring. And this is the lesson you have taught me, to always spend time with others before it's too late. You know how weird it felt like? I mean, when you were not there and I had no one to say Good Night to? (It was during my study break I think?) And now, you will be having a new roomie. Eh, please update me how your new roomie is like, okay? I might not appear in FB any longer, but you are always welcome to reach me via Watsapp! Oh ya, we are still half way talking about the dramas right? Hey, I really like Bash, okay? And now Mary fled away with Bash to somewhere-far. :p Ah, I miss the time lar (though we might not have a lot of interaction.. BUT STILL!!!)

All the best in your coming semester ya! And remember to let me know when you start blogging lor.. I know you will sure get into the University that you have been praying for, trust me. Your prayers are soooo strong, you know? You see? I got into the company that I've been dreaming for thanks to you! So, you will get in too, I have faith in you!! :D All the best in your future undertakings, k? And, please remember to invite me to your wedding lor! I want to see the cutest bride in the world! Haha...

P/S Let me know if you are still interested in the editorial post. I shall start writing by then. Hehe...

Cutest roomie I ever had!! :D

Dear Anis,
How could I forget you, Anis? How have you been? Is everything all right over there? It has been a long time since our last chat. I guess we are both too busy with our own lives? Doesn't matter, I'll never forget you, sis. Thanks for always looking out for me. I still remember the day when you went down to "rescue" me, the days we exchanged novels, the days when we had our lunch together, the day we went to your house etc etc. Speaking of which, I went to your convo and you have yet to send me all the photos wey! When do you intend to send me har? Ahem ahem!!!

It's a brand new year tomorrow, Anis. Hope you are doing fine. I know you seldom log into FB and that's why, if you find it difficult to reach me via FB as well, you are always welcome to reach me via LINE. Still remember we used to always send stickers to each other? Especially those cute cute ones? Hehe.. I'm sorry that I don't have data plan and can't on LINE as frequent as possible. But rest assured, once I started working, I'll subscribe myself data plan for us to keep in touch!! :) All the best in future undertakings, k? And, what happened to going for Big Bad Wolf again??! We really should go together for at least once!

P/S Remember to update me on your hunting of Prince Charming ya! Haha...

Awww.. Both of us look so cute.. XD

Dear QH,

I'm glad that someone brought you in for my event and as a gang, we used to hangout sometimes. When I firstly met you, you appeared to me as a playful person, as if you forehead was showing a quote, "Why so serious?". At times, I was really afraid that you could not do what I wish to be done for the event. Not that I didn't trust you, is just that, your image didn't seem to be convincing enough.

However, "don't judge a book by its cover" is indeed a very meaningful quote. Regardless what kind of help was needed by any department, you would always give them a hand. Your "sunny" image always makes the people around you feel relax and comfortable. From what I heard about you, you had a few ex-es before and one of the reason for those break-ups was due to your over-kindness that your ex-es couldn't feel safe around you. As time passes, I find you a very kind person to talk to. Only when we went out for a drink at Beer Factory, your over-consumption somehow made you more emotional and you broke down into tears in front of us. I could feel how depressed you were when you and your ex had been through several break-ups as a result of challenging circumstances. From there, I started to know the other side of you, not that I find you a pretender or something, its just that, we are only human. We tend to show the world the strong side of us and afraid to let people know how weak we really are from the bottom of our hearts. You are indeed a true man who treats a relationship seriously (though you always appear to be a "playboy").

You are a person who is always ready to help. Be it "academically", or in an event, or some miscellaneous occasions. You used to "spread" rumours that you were chasing after me and deliberately letting everyone to talk about us. Though I didn't really know what your true intention was, I was glad to have those memories when I was kinda down during that period of time. I didn't really have the mood to laugh or be happy, seriously. But you somehow managed to brighten up my day. Sometimes, I would even think that, what you did was just to make my ex "jealous". lol. Nah, its impossible right? I know you were just messing around but really thank you for the wonderful time. Oh, and also thank you for coming down all the way to fix my laptop. Without you, I wouldn't have done my assignments on time.

All in all, wishing you a bright future ahead and settle down in a relationship with your loved one. I know how emo you were when you found out that you were not in my post titled "Guys Whom I Crossed Path With". Well, I think being appeared in this current post is more meaningful than that one, right? Because this is the post where I wish to say things which I would regret if I never have the chance to, before I die. You are indeed a good man whom I will never forget. Awaiting invitation to your wedding! :D

Thanks for the belated birthday gift ya! :)

Dear CW,
So, we met in the store room when the club needed help to rearrange the stuff. If you didn't remind me of that, I would have forgotten about it, seriously. There you were, with JC and all of you are my seniors. Ya, I'm the youngest in the club and the last one to graduate, you all are like one or two years elder than me, thus have more knowledge and experience to share. For that, I'm very grateful to have joined the club.

We went to Sunway Pyramid once, with all the club BODs. And erm, you helped me "tapao" before right, last year or so? I mean, we didn't really have close contact until ZY and me visited PD. Oh, wait, speaking of "tapau", I'm glad that I listened to my friend's advice. She said, I seemed like using you if I were to ask you to "tapau" for me if I don't have the intention to go further. (I thank you for all the moments that we have spent together, sincerely) For this, I have something to say.

The moment you die-die wanna know my Lunar DOB, I know there is something else you wanna find out. Oh, c'mon, I'm a Chinese too and I understand if some of us are quite superstitious. However, I've never told anyone about it and I never will. On my side, I'm quite certain that we ain't suitable (though I've revealed quite alot of stories about my background) and here's my justification. I think, the way you feel about me, is like seeing me as a floating log when you nearly drown in the ocean, as if, you see a light of hope to make some betterment in yourself. It's like, I appear to be someone better than you (be it in terms of studies or planning for the future). I'm not saying that studies is everything. It's just that, I know you like the fact that I speak better English than you and you wanted to improve your English. That's why I shared my experience as to how I improved mine. Trust me, there is a HUGE difference between admiration and affection, and I know it.

Wait, I think I've not reached the more important part yet. I find differences in our, how do I put it; the attitude towards life, the vision of the future, the undying-urge to challenge oneself and so on. I know, I may know nothing about life when I haven't even started working yet. But I'm not a person who can't survive without motivations from others; you kind of are. I know everyone wants to be rich, successful, but it seems to me that you aren't wanting it bad enough. Or may be you are, just that I couldn't sense it. I mean, it's not that I'm judging you or anything, I'm glad that I was that pair of ears when you rambled about your life. I'm just saying that, you deserve better and I'm not the right one for you. You are a very very kind person and you don't deserve someone selfish, you deserve more! I'm sorry that I don't have the courage to tell you all these in person because, as everyone knows, I'm a coward to the core. I hope that we are still friends and erm, my best wishes to you in meeting the right girl. :)

OMG... My hair was so messy...

Ahem ahem.. *clearing throat*
Okay, I feel sooooo awkward right now. I wonder how would I react if I were to bump into someone whom I mentioned in this post. These are all my heartfelt feelings that I wish to tell in person but couldn't. Anyway, I'm glad that I've deactivated my FB account and thus, no one would ever reach me (accept via mobile apps, I suppose). That would save me some "awkward confrontation" I hope? Hmm.. Regardless, this is the last day of 2013 and its a brand new day tomorrow, brand new journey, brand new challenges. I'll prepare myself for what may come and erm, hmm.. Wish all of us, all the best k? ;)

Happy New Year!! :D