I'm Dead

Yaya, I'm very very dead, right now.
What happened to my time management?
What happened with discipline?
What happened with mission to score first class?!
One of my distinctive weaknesses, is that,
I find it difficult to resist myself from dramas.
You know? Especially those with HOT GUYS.. Ahem ahem..

As mentioned from previous post,
I wanted to study, to start preparing for my finals.
I'm taking five subjects this semester,
and I know it won't be that easy to get what I want,
as least not with the same effort that I've put in during last semester.
Seeing that this semester, I haven't started putting in any,
not even close to what I've sacrificed back then,
I have a bad feeling that this time, I would fail :(

I know, greedy is the root of evil.
I know that very well, deep down in my heart.
But, I can't resist to keep on trying to hunt for better offers.
I've been constantly having interviews at least once a week.
And so far, I've gotten myself two,
which some of you might say, "it's already far better than nothing,
at least, now you have choices, you can choose."
But, my dream job.. I'm still waiting for its summon..
It's one of my favourite brands and I really wish I could work there.

As the title suggests, I'm dead in the sense that,
this is the first time everything got out-of-the-hand.
Interviews that I attended, which I've never thought of having any chance,
called me back for the second round, which makes me wonder WHY...
I mean, I do have some qualities, but I really wish to know in details,
which are my strengths and weaknesses, because, I really wish to improve.
On the other hand, my study plan has been sabotaged by DRAMAS!
Not so much of some old dramas, eg The Vampire Diaries, or The Originals,
but more of Reign, and The Heirs.
These two, are indeed irresistible, especially the former one, I could guarantee you!

Now I realized the importance of doing things which you are passionate for.
If you were to be tied down with jobs that you don't like doing,
you would find it boring, or even dreadful, and could hardly enjoy it.
Eg, my current Economic assignment, which I should have done it two weeks ago,
but I'm still working on it, which is fathomable because, I easily get distracted.
Dramas, however, could easily steer me away from priorities!!!
That's why I've been thinking, what is the job that I want,
which has the ability to stand firm against the "God-forbidden" dramas?
Which type of job from which industry, I wonder,
would help me realize my passion in it, and for it, that is strong enough,
from being steered away, again...

Anyway, I'm positive enough to think that,
I'm a person who functions best in the very last moment.
It's the fear, the panic, the stress,
that keep me move forward, that push me over my limits,
to be able to live up to expectations, to be able to achieve what I want.
Study, is after all, a process of learning, not purpose of life.
Learning, on the other hand, is both a process, and a purpose.
So, it doesn't matter when did you start your revision,
exams is all about, your speed of writing to express all your thoughts into pieces of paper.

So, from now on,
I vowed, to sleep for a maximum of six hours a day, everyday;
I vowed, to avoid any social media until the middle of December;
I vowed, to discipline myself and avoid any contact with any DRAMAS;
I vowed, this will be, I mean, this IS, my last blog entry until my finals end;
I vowed, to be ready, to make any sacrifice necessary, to secure that piece of "paper";
I vowed, to restrain myself from more interviews, unless it doesn't disrupt my daily schedule;

And finally, if I failed to do any of these,
I'll be the one who brought the worst upon my very own knees,
and I shall have no one to blame for.
God bless me.

Signing off~~~