Not My Week :(

Life, is indeed unpredictable, so does the future. Any prophecies are always subjected to external and internal factors, eg one's self. Fine, I have no idea what am I rambling about. I just know that, whenever I thought everything could happen like the way I wanted it to be, or at least somewhere along the rail, something unexpectedly BAD WILL ALWAYS happen. :(

The air-conditioning system was out of service on Monday. Our two-hour class was dismissed one hour earlier. So I went home earlier than what I had planned, 7pm. Then the next day, I woke up late. BUT, still managed to arrive before my appointment for the interview. We talked for almost two hours! At first, I was kinda nervous, but the HR Manager was too friendly and made me felt as if we were chatting as newly made friends. There, one hour gone. Then, the Operation Manager came, though she looked relatively sterner than the HR Manager, she was kind enough to explain the role and job task to me. Oh, and also kind of "warning" me of the possible challenges that most fresh blood would face. There, one hour gone. The entire process was pleasant though. But I was late to class!

That was the class where I needed to present. Still remember what I said in my previous post, that I wish both best presenter originated from the same group? Nah, I didn't manage to do it. :( Because of the interview, I didn't really prepare myself well for the presentation. I would say, what I presented were all spontaneous. I mean, of course I roughly know what I was going to present, but not as well-prepared as my International Management's presentation. For this, I stammered a lot, AND, I lost my words a few times during the presentation! AND, I felt as if I used a lot of repetitive words, and appeared as if my vocabulary was so damn poor! When I tried to walk/wandered in front of the screen, I could even feel my legs trembling. From all the feedback collected after the presentation, there were people who like the way I presented, as in the way I "walked", but there were also some who found it irritating as I walked "too much". All in all, the class was dismissed "abruptly" and thus, there gone the BONUS card session. Nah, not that I would get the BONUS card also :(

The next bad thing that happened, was when I picked up a phone call from my jimui. She sounded uneasy and frustrating. The moment she asked me, "Should we book another hotel for our Singapore trip?" I knew something wasn't right. She said, when her dad knew that the place that we were going to stay located somewhere in Geylang, her dad went solemn. According to him, Geylang is a very dangerous place in Singapore and there are prostitution businesses around. Its extremely unsafe for the two of us to stay around that place and not to mention, we would probably head back to the hotel at late night! What if we were caught and mistakenly treated as girls who "offering services"? OMG! This totally "bubblized" the perception I have on Singapore when it appears to me as a developed country with "polices in disguise" everywhere. Then, my jimui cancelled the booking and we are now STILL looking for a place to stay. :(

My laptop couldn't connect to the internet for the past few days due to some DNS problems. I know this might not even sound like a problem to some of you who are IT-literate, but it really troubled me a lot. I went to the library but without the internet connection, what could I have done? I was literally wasting time though I was physically in the library. Then, I had to trouble my friend, QH to come over to help me. He is an IT student, a kind and helpful one. He came over on Tuesday night and I though the issue was solved. So we went for supper with N. Okay, let me talk about the laptop issue first then I move to N ya. Wednesday, my laptop faced the same problem again! Luckily QH was somewhere around my campus and thus came over to help and guess what? Tada, solved! I hope I've learnt something when I attentively observing what he did to have the problem rectified. Means, I owe him a meal. Haha. 

Okay, back to N. There, she thought I would be going to the annual ball with them (my old gang) and I think she kinda thought I was joking when I said I'm not joining. She tried everything she could, "begging" me, acting cute, giving me the sad and emo face, or stared at me angrily to demand my attendance to the ball. She even showed me a photo of her in the gown from her bf. But I stood firm on my decision. I could see how disappointed she was when my decision made me the only one who broke our promise to attend the ball together in our last year. After we paid for the food, she asked me to leave with QH instead (maybe she wanted to talk to some friends she bumped into?), maybe she didn't want me to see her cry. Because the moment I looked into her eyes, all I saw were teary eyes. To bear her some dignity, I left her without saying anything but I almost cried in the car (ya, almost, because the moment you looked at QH's face, you just can't cry it out, weird). I sent N an apology text when I reached my hostel and kinda agree to have a talk next week (at least she had her dream ball with her bf first without me screwing anything up). There, I hurt my sister. Wait, sister? I don't know if she really sees me as a sister, or should I phrase it in, "I guess she would probably think that I don't see her as a sister" because, that's definitely not how sisters treating each other, right? :(

Results! Results for the two subjects I took last semester were out at 0000 Thursday. And guess what? I was aiming for 4.0, BUT!! Why is it so hard to get the result I always wish for? Why is it like that no matter how hard I work for it? Wait, you may say, study smart, not study hard! Ya, I did, okay?! I mean, I know I'm not a smart student, nor do I have a smart brain to store everything needed for the exam, but I did spend time and effort to study, understand and memorize, okay? Not to mention, I sacrificed my time to hangout with friends too. I sacrificed my social life for adequate sleeps and studies. But why? I spent most of my time in the library (though I did sleep 2-3 hours lar) doing my notes and looking for extra information. I mean, of course I'm satisfied with my International Trade Finance because I scored A+ for it. My course work mark was among the highest and I really did my best for the paper. I thank both the lecturers for guiding us throughout the semester. But, why didn't I get A for my International Trade Law? The lecturer did say that, the only way to get A is to impress the marker. I remember I did write extra cases found from text book which were not provided in the lecturer notes. Erm, wait, I think I know why. For some of the cases, I failed to explain the fact perfectly. I think I was just "touch-and-go"! Ah, no wonder I only got A-!! This is my last semester, if I GG again, my first class will be gone lar~~ :(

Today is the day when most of my friends are attending the annual ball. I guess after lunch and shower, they would probably start dressing up and help each other with the make-up and hair-styling. It reminded me so much when I used to hang out with them and attend dinners like this. We would meet up at one's room and start busying ourselves with the foundation, powder, mascara, eyeliner, eye-shadow, lipsticks and all kind of cosmetic which I have no idea how wide the range of products is. Well, I think this is what would happen today when they all are busying with the ball tonight. No one will even notice my absence, nor would anyone care to ask of my whereabout or reason(s) for not attending. Since the beginning of the year, something has changed along the way and everything is different now. I'm no longer part of the group though we still talk once in a while as classmates. Maybe a selfish person like me just deserve all these to be happened to me. Not that I'm regretting on my own decision to be apart from the old gang, its just that, I'm quite a nostalgic person at times. Well, I guess its either tonight or days after tomorrow, my FB news-feed would be filled with all their statuses and photos of the event and thus, I'll be somewhere in the vicinity to wish them all the best in their future undertakings because, from this point on wards, our distance will be much further apart.

Anyway, this is my last semester, all I could think of is my results. I couldn't risk it and thus I'm willing to sacrifice all these moments to spend with my friends. Life is all about give and take right? Ah, I have test next week, got to go. Hope everything would turn out to be better each day. *Stay positive*

'Till next post, cheers :)