Not My Week :(

Life, is indeed unpredictable, so does the future. Any prophecies are always subjected to external and internal factors, eg one's self. Fine, I have no idea what am I rambling about. I just know that, whenever I thought everything could happen like the way I wanted it to be, or at least somewhere along the rail, something unexpectedly BAD WILL ALWAYS happen. :(

The air-conditioning system was out of service on Monday. Our two-hour class was dismissed one hour earlier. So I went home earlier than what I had planned, 7pm. Then the next day, I woke up late. BUT, still managed to arrive before my appointment for the interview. We talked for almost two hours! At first, I was kinda nervous, but the HR Manager was too friendly and made me felt as if we were chatting as newly made friends. There, one hour gone. Then, the Operation Manager came, though she looked relatively sterner than the HR Manager, she was kind enough to explain the role and job task to me. Oh, and also kind of "warning" me of the possible challenges that most fresh blood would face. There, one hour gone. The entire process was pleasant though. But I was late to class!

That was the class where I needed to present. Still remember what I said in my previous post, that I wish both best presenter originated from the same group? Nah, I didn't manage to do it. :( Because of the interview, I didn't really prepare myself well for the presentation. I would say, what I presented were all spontaneous. I mean, of course I roughly know what I was going to present, but not as well-prepared as my International Management's presentation. For this, I stammered a lot, AND, I lost my words a few times during the presentation! AND, I felt as if I used a lot of repetitive words, and appeared as if my vocabulary was so damn poor! When I tried to walk/wandered in front of the screen, I could even feel my legs trembling. From all the feedback collected after the presentation, there were people who like the way I presented, as in the way I "walked", but there were also some who found it irritating as I walked "too much". All in all, the class was dismissed "abruptly" and thus, there gone the BONUS card session. Nah, not that I would get the BONUS card also :(

The next bad thing that happened, was when I picked up a phone call from my jimui. She sounded uneasy and frustrating. The moment she asked me, "Should we book another hotel for our Singapore trip?" I knew something wasn't right. She said, when her dad knew that the place that we were going to stay located somewhere in Geylang, her dad went solemn. According to him, Geylang is a very dangerous place in Singapore and there are prostitution businesses around. Its extremely unsafe for the two of us to stay around that place and not to mention, we would probably head back to the hotel at late night! What if we were caught and mistakenly treated as girls who "offering services"? OMG! This totally "bubblized" the perception I have on Singapore when it appears to me as a developed country with "polices in disguise" everywhere. Then, my jimui cancelled the booking and we are now STILL looking for a place to stay. :(

My laptop couldn't connect to the internet for the past few days due to some DNS problems. I know this might not even sound like a problem to some of you who are IT-literate, but it really troubled me a lot. I went to the library but without the internet connection, what could I have done? I was literally wasting time though I was physically in the library. Then, I had to trouble my friend, QH to come over to help me. He is an IT student, a kind and helpful one. He came over on Tuesday night and I though the issue was solved. So we went for supper with N. Okay, let me talk about the laptop issue first then I move to N ya. Wednesday, my laptop faced the same problem again! Luckily QH was somewhere around my campus and thus came over to help and guess what? Tada, solved! I hope I've learnt something when I attentively observing what he did to have the problem rectified. Means, I owe him a meal. Haha. 

Okay, back to N. There, she thought I would be going to the annual ball with them (my old gang) and I think she kinda thought I was joking when I said I'm not joining. She tried everything she could, "begging" me, acting cute, giving me the sad and emo face, or stared at me angrily to demand my attendance to the ball. She even showed me a photo of her in the gown from her bf. But I stood firm on my decision. I could see how disappointed she was when my decision made me the only one who broke our promise to attend the ball together in our last year. After we paid for the food, she asked me to leave with QH instead (maybe she wanted to talk to some friends she bumped into?), maybe she didn't want me to see her cry. Because the moment I looked into her eyes, all I saw were teary eyes. To bear her some dignity, I left her without saying anything but I almost cried in the car (ya, almost, because the moment you looked at QH's face, you just can't cry it out, weird). I sent N an apology text when I reached my hostel and kinda agree to have a talk next week (at least she had her dream ball with her bf first without me screwing anything up). There, I hurt my sister. Wait, sister? I don't know if she really sees me as a sister, or should I phrase it in, "I guess she would probably think that I don't see her as a sister" because, that's definitely not how sisters treating each other, right? :(

Results! Results for the two subjects I took last semester were out at 0000 Thursday. And guess what? I was aiming for 4.0, BUT!! Why is it so hard to get the result I always wish for? Why is it like that no matter how hard I work for it? Wait, you may say, study smart, not study hard! Ya, I did, okay?! I mean, I know I'm not a smart student, nor do I have a smart brain to store everything needed for the exam, but I did spend time and effort to study, understand and memorize, okay? Not to mention, I sacrificed my time to hangout with friends too. I sacrificed my social life for adequate sleeps and studies. But why? I spent most of my time in the library (though I did sleep 2-3 hours lar) doing my notes and looking for extra information. I mean, of course I'm satisfied with my International Trade Finance because I scored A+ for it. My course work mark was among the highest and I really did my best for the paper. I thank both the lecturers for guiding us throughout the semester. But, why didn't I get A for my International Trade Law? The lecturer did say that, the only way to get A is to impress the marker. I remember I did write extra cases found from text book which were not provided in the lecturer notes. Erm, wait, I think I know why. For some of the cases, I failed to explain the fact perfectly. I think I was just "touch-and-go"! Ah, no wonder I only got A-!! This is my last semester, if I GG again, my first class will be gone lar~~ :(

Today is the day when most of my friends are attending the annual ball. I guess after lunch and shower, they would probably start dressing up and help each other with the make-up and hair-styling. It reminded me so much when I used to hang out with them and attend dinners like this. We would meet up at one's room and start busying ourselves with the foundation, powder, mascara, eyeliner, eye-shadow, lipsticks and all kind of cosmetic which I have no idea how wide the range of products is. Well, I think this is what would happen today when they all are busying with the ball tonight. No one will even notice my absence, nor would anyone care to ask of my whereabout or reason(s) for not attending. Since the beginning of the year, something has changed along the way and everything is different now. I'm no longer part of the group though we still talk once in a while as classmates. Maybe a selfish person like me just deserve all these to be happened to me. Not that I'm regretting on my own decision to be apart from the old gang, its just that, I'm quite a nostalgic person at times. Well, I guess its either tonight or days after tomorrow, my FB news-feed would be filled with all their statuses and photos of the event and thus, I'll be somewhere in the vicinity to wish them all the best in their future undertakings because, from this point on wards, our distance will be much further apart.

Anyway, this is my last semester, all I could think of is my results. I couldn't risk it and thus I'm willing to sacrifice all these moments to spend with my friends. Life is all about give and take right? Ah, I have test next week, got to go. Hope everything would turn out to be better each day. *Stay positive*

'Till next post, cheers :)

My "Rojak" Week

I would prefer rojak with "tao-geh" along. Hehe.

Well, this post of mine is NOT to talk or discuss about one of the favourite "snacks" in Malaysia. (Click here to know more about rojak. lol) Its just that, quite a lot of different things happened that I have no idea how to name my post. Seeing that rojak basically "contains fried dough fritters, bean curds, boiled potatoes, prawn fritters, hard boiled eggs, bean sprouts, cuttlefish and cucumber mixed with a sweet thick, spicy peanut sauce", it seems fit to describe my entire week. LOL

I went back to hostel on Tuesday morning because Monday was a public holiday, the so-called "Malaysia-Day". Our group presented on IMF for the Global Issues subject. There are six members in our group but only three people presented as we would like to take turn. The lecturer wants us to improve our presentation skills and thus, the audiences were asked to give feedback for all the presenter. On the feedback form, with the name of the presenter on the top, the audiences would write down what they like about the presenters, in other words, you may see that as the strength of the presenters. Next, they will write down what they wish the presenters to improve, be it body languages, tone of voice, eye contact and so on. Lastly, the audiences were asked to rate them, with the scale of 1-10, poor and excellent respectively. At the end of the class, the lecturer will give a BONUS card for the best presenter (The one which could save your course work mark). Erm, I wasn't the one presenting though, but the best presenter was from our group. So? Ahem! My turn to present would be on next Tuesday, AND, I hope to get the BONUS card as well. Means, both best presenters originated from our group! Hehe. (syok-sendiri here.. lol) At night, I had the "privilege" to meet my friend's ex. She is a playgirl, I mean, at least she appears to me so. Seeing that I hadn't done my assignment, I brought my laptop along and sat there like an invisible person when I was too engrossed with my work that I paid little to no attention to their conversation at all. I am kinda rude, right? Sigh!

On Wednesday, okay, I'll straight proceed to the main point (I got swayed away easily at times.. lol). I was the student ambassador for the Business Leadership Series (BLS), it's a sharing session whereby, INTI invites corporate leaders to inspire the young generation. My job, erm, was basically in-charge of the entire hall of around 200+ students, coordinating the event and make sure that everything went smoothly. There were six of us, professionally dressed up! Haha. It was a 45-min talk and a 15-min Q&A session. However, it took around half an hour for the Q&A questions because there are inquiries from all the INTI network. FYI, there were more than 500+ from HQ (Nilai), Subang, KL, Penang and Sabah. I know, 500+ may not sound like a huge amount to some of you, but it was the highest record to date! Actually, it's kind of saddening because most of the students would not take the initiative to attend talk as beneficial as this. They rather spend time on some trivial events such as hanging out with friends or playing games or whatsoever stuff (as if I cared). That's why, the number of students attended this time means so much to us. :)

Ah, I look like aunty :(

Ya, I know, it looks typical right? lol

We then went to the night market along the hostel street organized by one of the clubs and I bought two belts. Oh, and three of us bought 5 pairs if earrings for RM10 only (cheap-skate right) haha. At night, I went again with my roommate for Lok Lok. FYI, it was her first time eating Lok Lok, and, erm, I promised to bring her since a long time ago and finally, I managed to fulfill my promise. Oh, not only fulfill, the Lok Lok was on me too. Two of us consumed a total of RM20.20 (I wonder what we ate.. haha). Erm, I didn't manage to take some photos and thus, these are the ones I found from the internet.

For those who don't know what Lok Lok is,
it looks something like this.

It sells fish balls of all kind.
Of course not just fish ball lar. Ha.

The next day I woke up, did I realize that, I was way out of schedule! The entire Wednesday I didn't have any progress in my assignment, be it individual or group assignments. The fact is, all these while, I have been paying more attention to my group assignments (because I'm the group leader for both) that my own individual ones are yet to start. Tuesday, my group members sent me their parts for the Strategy Management assignment but I am still half way compiling. Wednesday, I received respective parts for International Management and supposed to upload it on Thursday, but it ended up being uploaded to the group on Thursday night, wait, I mean, Friday 0100. And we have presentation next Tuesday for Global Issues, I haven't even started looking for information too. Oh, the lecturer just uploaded the assignment question for International Economics which to be dued on 29th October. Seems like I've been procrastinating for quite some time eh? Wasting time for even ONE day could be so devastating! I think I made a wise decision to totally retire from clubs and societies and organizing events. I would think twice if they were to ask me for the coming events, seriously!

Wait, I have my justification why did I upload the thing late. I attended the Toastmaster meeting from 7.30pm to 10pm. Before the meeting, I was thinking, perhaps this time I would like to try out the impromptu speech (table topics) for the first time because, you choose the topic on the spot and are required to speak for at least two minutes in front of, I think there were around 20 people. Who knows, half an hour before the meeting when I met the VP of Education on my way for dinner, he asked me to be the Assistant Surgeon at Arm as the SAA was absent. WTH! My performance sucked as I was too shy to speak, as in announcing and adjourning the meeting. You want me to speak in front of the crowd, can, not that I would be able to speak confidently, but at least I won't be super super shy/nervous. Because why, I'm prepared! But this one? OMG, I really screwed it up badly wey. I really wish I could do better. :( On a separate note, I told VPE that I would like a go for my second speech, CC2. I wish he could grant me the chance because, I'm graduating this year and really hope that I would be able to complete the manual before the semester ends.

Friday morning, we had Cross-cultural Management whereby we learn about the differences between countries and continents as well as their business customs. In one of the parts that we discussed, was related to the UK royal and noble ranking. The lecturer actually thought that Earl has the highest rank right below King/Queen and Prince. I was like, no! Earl isn't, Duke is higher than Earl, in fact, a few ranks higher. Then the lecturer just laughed it off. Haha. Actually, I have been reading novels with backgrounds set in the olden England, and the heroes are mostly either Duke or Earl, so far, I haven't come across heroes from Marquess or Viscount, these two are usually the supporting characters (in the novels that I've read) only. So one fine day, I was curious and Wiki-ed 'bout it (Click here to find out more). And, in the novels, the heroes often have relationships with mistresses or even courtesans. Haha. But my point is, I find novels with this background very much enjoyable because I adore the way they spoke. The men are mostly gentlemen and the women are of exquisite body, erm, not just body lar, but they do sincerely love the men as well. Oh, and I like the fact that they curtsied to people of higher ranks. The whole thing makes me feel like England is such a highly educated society that they respect one another. Some of them are unfathomably humble despite of the fact that their rank is so much higher than the rest. Actually, I made up my mind to read a novel during each weekend. However, seeing that I won't be free for the coming weekends, I feel so sorry that the novels I bought would have to "wait" for me and turn into some "display" items in the shelf for the time being. Haha.

Today, I was supposed to interview two candidates for the position of Account and Admin Executive. However, the first one ffk-ed me (it means stood me up). Can you imagine? Candidates nowadays stood the future employer up?! What kind of attitude is that, huh? At first, I thought perhaps she couldn't find the place or something. But at least, she should have the courtesy to inform me right? Apologize for her late arrival or maybe some "extenuating" circumstances or something. NO! Nothing at all. Well, perhaps I shouldn't make such a fuss. I'm the one interviewing her, not the one looking for jobs, right? I've heard those HR personnel who came to INTI career week and said, what they really want in a candidate, is the right attitude! Now I understand why. No wonder when I went for three interviews looking for my internship back then, all three offered me the job! With a little more courtesy, good manners, humble and all the other positive attitudes, oh, which means don't expect too high of a salary, it won't be so difficult to get a job right? I mean, provided that your results are good, active in co-curriculum and strong inter-personal skills, it wouldn't be that hard right? Anyway, the second candidate who came in the afternoon was still okay, I'm quite satisfied with her after an one-hour of interview. Hehe.

I guess its time for me to get back to work. Hope its not too late. Argh~~
Before that, an update on my hair. LOL

It has been a month. And according to my friends, it doesn't look so fake now.
(Despite of the fact that I have been using the wrong product.. lol)

'Till next post, cheers :)

OMG #1

Ya, #1, it means, I might have OMG #2, #3 and so on, whenever I can't figure a proper title for my post. Haha, sampat right? (Note: I don't really know how to explain the word "sampat" into English. Anyone mind helping me out? lol) Fine, just ignore me. I don't even sure myself what am I crapping around. Well, I would say, lotta things happened lar. I think I'm crazy now. XD

First of all, this happened in a bathroom. I had no idea what happened that day, nor did I remember what was the thing that puzzled my mind. I grabbed my toiletries and went right into the bathroom. I think something good had happened, and that's why I was humming some songs. With the tantalizing water flowing tom-bottom of my body, I had the most relaxing sensation ever. Most probably due to the fact that, I have just done my International Economy's test. Though I'm not in anyway confident about my performance, somehow I did feel good about it. I wonder was there any other contributing factor. Well, back to the topic. Guess what? After showering my curly hair, I instinctively reached out for my shampoo, only to realize that, I left it in my closet! Stupid right? Now what? I couldn't bear the idea of leaving my hair un-shampooed, continue my bath and leave the bathroom pretending my hair has been "shampooed"! So? Ahem! I erm, I ended up washing my hair with my body soap! OMG right? Back then, I didn't have a slight idea of the differences between both, except the fact that their smells seem to differ. Now? Argh! I really had a hard time untangling knots which were not even there in the first place! Now, I wholeheartedly accept the importance of using a "conditioned" shampoo! You certainly have no idea how hard it was, to brush my hair through with my fingers, when the entire head of mine, had no bubble at all! (Means? My hair wasn't as silky as it used to be anymore!) Though I've always known as a person with short-term memory loss, but I never knew it could be until THIS extend! Grrr~

This whole week, I was basically busying with assignments and presentation. Among the five subjects that I'm taking this semester, International Economy is the only subject that the lecturer hasn't uploaded the assignment question yet. I wonder what took him so long to do so! As for the other four subjects, there are two individual and group assignments. I've already done almost 50% of one of the individual assignments while the other is yet to begin. As for group assignment, I'm the leader for both. Means? I'll be the final station to compile, restructure, rephrase, paraphrasing and summarize all the work that my group members have sent me. Means? My workload is more! Though team work is increasingly important nowadays, it seems to me as a waste of time when the outcome of a team work is even less satisfying than that of my own effort alone. I'm not saying that I'm more superior or my work is of more quality, I'm just saying, cooperation is the essence in a group work. If one of the members shows a sign of reluctance in accomplishing the task assigned, it could be contagious and affect the team spirit of the rest. Means? As a leader, I must constantly motivate them and? "brainwash" them! I hate to have "free-rider" in my group and thus, I'll do everything I could to avoid the re-occurrence of such events.

In brief, I have meeting almost everyday, be it meeting with human being, or with my laptop "screen". zzzz. Every Monday, we will have meeting for International Management weekly homework, whereby, each group is required to present the findings on a weekly basis. Tuesday, group mates will send me their parts for Strategic Management, so that I could compile it and send it to the lecturer for "checking", as in, whether the way we done it or the content we have written is what he wants/expects. Wednesday, we will have meetings for Strategic Management group assignment right after the class itself. AND, my group mates for International Management will send me their parts (weekly homework), so that I could compile and upload it to our FB group on Thursday, and whoever presenting on Friday, would have at least one day to prepare for it. Oh ya, and their part for the group assignment too! Thursday, we will have meeting for International Management group assignment, whereby, our "company" will be exporting honey to UK (some market expansion assignment of sort). Friday, let me think. Ah, I had a meeting with the Employer Relation department of INTI, briefing on an event (Business Leadership Series: whereby top executives from various industries are invited to give a speech to the INTIans) to be held next Wednesday. I am to be the student ambassador. Hehe. Well, its just a mere four weeks, and everything started to go on full swing. Wait, full swing doesn't seem like that. Full swing is even worse! The schedule will be even more packed up! So, I better start getting my hands on the assignment which I have never even started searching for info!

And, guess what? I was the one presenting on last Friday! A week before, we were asked to watch some YouTube videos on Cirque du Soleil and present our argument, whether it applies Red Ocean Strategy or Blue Ocean Strategy. This is not the first home work given by the International Management lecturer, and thus, I already have an impression on the overall presentation skills that my peers possess. I kinda had the feelings to out-perform them. The way they presented was simple, stood in front of the laptop and faced the audience. All they did was either, read directly from the slides (on the monitor screen) or read from the projector's screen. As in, literally READ! No joke, okay? Can you imagine what would be your boss's response when you present just the way they did? Their tone monotonous, their face expressionless, their body motionless. Do you think you would be able to trigger some POSITIVE response from your boss? Because I'm hell sure, triggering negative response from the boss would never be an issue, because within five minutes, the boss would say, "Hmm, ok, redo the thing and show me again" or "Hand the project over to your colleagues because I don't think you are ready just yet", or something even more awful. Thus, the way I presented was different. I didn't stand as still as a stick, hiding at a corner to read from the monitor screen. In fact, it was quite an opposite. With a bluetooth mouse in my palm, I walked around between three points, two points stretching in front of the white board, and another at the center of the class, basically a T-shape. By practicing my speech for around 7-8 times, I could hardly refer back to my slides. By scrolling the wireless mouse, I didn't have the need to press my keyboard to proceed to the next slides. Though I was a bit outstanding as contrast to the rest, I would say, I was still as nervous as I have been, to speak in front of a crowd. Though my command of English is slightly better than my peers, I still had plenty of grammatical errors in my presentation. Though the lecturer was quite impressed by the slides designs and my presentation skills, I was advised to "maintain the expectation from the floor". Means, I must not disappoint them the next time I present! My shoulders shrugged the moment I felt the pressure to live up to expectations~~

Fuh! Anyway, I just realized, my life as a student, is much more alive than that of as an intern. Did I mention anything about my internship before? It was awful, in the sense that, I didn't learn anything new at all, let alone the fact that, I have become more efficient in "Copy&Paste", which I doubt it'd be categorized as some sophisticated skills that I should be proud of for possessing it. zzzz. Wait, maybe I did learn something from my internship. I learnt some formulas in Excel and Microsoft Publisher to design brochures. Ya, I know, its nothing, I'm not bragging in anyway possible that you might think I am, okay? I'm just "informing" out of, erm, courtesy? lol. From there on wards, I vowed to myself that, no more office job in my life, at least not that kind in which, I'll have to face the monitor from 9am to 5pm except for lunch hour. I'll definitely die out of boredom or, hmm, maybe eye disease or something! I wish that, at least my future work place, can really "torture" us and make us work like cows (like what I am now, rushing the assignments ahead of the rest). BUT, make sure the pay is handsome and incentives astonishingly beyond expectation!

Ah, one more thing which I could really use "OMG" to describe, is this: "Flight tickets bought!" Guess where are we going to? My jimui and I are going to Singapore for X'mas, 3D2N! Hotel, checked! Itinerary, nah, there is no need to rush. Plans, spontaneous will do. Cash, hmm, that's the core issue of it. My dear Malaysia, why is your currency not performing well? What is wrong with you? What kind of slapstick humour are you pulling through on us? Like I've mentioned in my previous post, MYR/SGD is depreciating wey. I should have started exchanging the currency a few months back. May be it wouldn't have "hurt" so much. Argh! Fine, will start observing the market now and try exchanging the currency whenever the situation permits. Is there anything else which I've missed? OMG! Well, just wanted to say, for a person whose parents are so damn strict and overprotective over her, she must be outrageously delighted to jump on her feet and hit the ceilings for the "approval" she gotten to go overseas. It's just her friend and her, two of them, you must not have a slight idea of what it feels like, to finally have her father's trust, to let her travel alone with her jimui! You may not even understand how much does it mean to her. For over 20 years on earth, finally, the moment has come! All the hard work in convincing her dad that, she is now a grown-up, has finally paid off! You know what? There is no word on earth to describe her current feelings. Or, is there? Haha. Who cares? What she knows is that, she will definitely experience insomnia the night before the flight, recalling her first time flying off to Kuching with a bunch of friends for her elementary graduation trip. The difference is that, this time, there are only two persons, her jimui and her. And she will never forget the promise they have, to keep it as a tradition, to spend the X'mas together for as long as they shall breath. :D

Before I bored you to death with my lifeless entry, there's something that I wish to share:

Never afraid to be unique, for
each one of us has different destiny to be fulfilled.

'Till next post, cheers :)

Don't Lose Faith

Some of my friends have reached the time to start contemplating about their lives and future, what they want and who they want to be. To those who are "vulnerable" and feel helpless to whatever the world throws at you, I would like to share this video with you. Steve Jobs shared three stories in the video in hopes to urge the people to do what they love and have faith in themselves. The video is around 15 minutes, if you have no time, or better still, you are a speed reader, you may consider reading his speech below. Oh ya, if your internet is too slow to load it, you may do the same too. lol

*Disclaimer: The written speech below is based on what I could catch up from the video. My apologies if there are errors in the speech below. Thanks.

Delivered on 12th June 2005:

I'm honoured to be with you today for you commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. Truth be told, I never graduated from college, and erm, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today, I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it, no big deal, just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots. I dropped out of Reed College after the first six months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why I dropped-out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed graduate student and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates so everything was all set, for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped-out, they decided at the last minute, that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on the waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night, asking, "We have got an unexpected baby boy, do you want him?" They said, "Of course." My biological mother found out later that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would go to college. This was the start in my life. 

And 17 years later, I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents's savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was, spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop-out and trust that it would all work out okay. It was pretty scary at that time, but looking back, it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. The minute I dropped-out, I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping-in on the ones that looked far more interesting. It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms. I returned Coke bottles for the 5₵ deposits to buy food with. and I would walk the seven miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on.

Let me give you one example. Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus, every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combination, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating. None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped-in on that single course in the college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on that calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very very clear looking backwards ten years later. Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your guts, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believe in the dots that connect down the road, will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path and that would make all the difference.

My second story, is about love and loss. I was lucky, I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents' garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years, Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage, into a $2 billion company with over 4, 000 employees. We had just released our finest creation, the Macintosh, a year earlier, and I had just turn 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew, we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so, things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our BOD sided with him. So at 30, I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down, that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me. I still loved what I did. The turns of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I'd been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the world's first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, and I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT, is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance, and Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life is gonna hit you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that, the only thing that kept me going was that, I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work, is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking, and don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking, don't settle.

My third story is about death. When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like, "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself, "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answers have been "NO" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I'll be dead soon, is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything, all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure, these things just fall away in the face of death. leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die, is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7.30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumour on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order. which is doctor's code for "prepare to die". It means to try to tell your kids everything, you thought you'd have the next ten years to tell them, in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up, so that it will be as easy as possible for your family, it means to say your goodbyes. I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening, I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas, and got a few cells from the tumour. I was sedated, but my wife who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope, the doctors started crying, because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery, and thankfully, I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept: No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but its quite true. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you TRULY want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by fellow named Steward Brand, not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 60s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along. It was idealistic, overflowing with neat tools and great notions. Steward and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue, was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it, were the words, "Stay hungry, stay foolish". It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay hungry, stay foolish. And I've always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin a new, I wish that for you. Stay hungry, stay foolish. Thank you all very much.

My lecturer for International Management mentioned about this video too and we had a discussion about how to achieve our dreams. He encourages students who have never watched this video to do so because it is very meaningful and motivating. I hope it motivates you too. Let's Gambateh together aite! Be positive and stay strong!

'Till next post, cheers :)

E-Commerce

My first time placing an online order was on 29th June via Zalora, one of the most popular fashion online stores. There were so many attractive pieces of clothes but erm, I resisted and bought only two. Haha. In Zalora, delivery is free if you purchase MYR 75 or above. Besides, you have the choice not to make online payment. They provide you the option to pay only the moment you received the products. Awesome right? And the delivery was fast, ranging from 24 hours to 72 hours (for Peninsular) only. Seeing that it was my first time purchasing dresses online, I didn't dare to order too much, it was around MYR 90 for the sake of free delivery. lol. Ever since I created an account, guess what? I have been receiving emails from Zalora everyday pertaining their latest promotion, their new dresses, or stocks calling for last call. I find it difficult to resist myself from clicking the links, know? And currently, I have five items on my wishlist. Haha.

Left: It is a fair pink dress. Sorry for the bad colour quality.
Right: It looks very formal with a blazer on. :)

Next, I ordered a book on 5th August via Amazon. I wanted a book so badly but it couldn't be found in both Popular Bookstore and MPH Bookstore. So in order to get it, I was advised to make an order directly to purchase from Amazon. The book itself costs only MYR 52.38, but guess how much is the delivery fee? The delivery fee is even more expensive than the value of the book, the author's effort! The shipping and handling fee was MYR 68.64. So in total, I paid MYR 121.02 for that particular book. Erm, you know what I kinda feel like saying? Unless you desperately needed a book so badly, or you can't proceed in your studies or venture into realizing your dreams/destiny (maybe too exaggerate already), think twice to buy books online especially when (i) the books can't be found in home country; (b) the delivery fee is even more expensive than the book itself! Though it was estimated that the book would arrive on 29th August, it managed to arrived on 22nd August right in front of the doorstep. :)

Top: The title of the book I bought.
Bottom left: An A3 envelope with a layer of air-cushioned film.
Bottom right: My purchasing receipt.

The next thing I bought was from Groupon. I'm not sure if you've heard of it, but it runs like an e-commerce portal too. There are many promotions which would end in a particular period of time. The idea of Groupon is that, when you buy in bulk, you would get it at a lower price. So, it gathers all the orders from the customers, when it reached the targeted quantity, Groupon would get the products from the sellers on behalf of the customers. If you are a business student, you must have heard of Michael Porter's Five Forces Model, which mentioned about the "bargaining power of buyers". Groupon kinda runs on this basis. The more order it got for a particular product, the more bargaining power it has to "negotiate" for the "best" price. 

The customized necklace I posted earlier was one of the example. The usual price was around MYR 158, but I bought it for MYR 100 (it could be cheaper if I didn't put any add-on). The same thing, this steamer for dry-wash clothes was bought for MYR 58 (including delivery fee). It took around 2 weeks to arrive. Erm, so far I'm not sure if the product is functioning, because it requires too much voltage and my dad said our sockets can't stand the pressure. So, maybe I would try it at my hostel and see if the hostel sockets could support it. I really wish to try because I do have some garments which must be dry-washed only.

Do you see the little red circle there?
Its the defect I found on the brush. Sigh!

Though E-Commerce is getting more popular each day as people started to accept the trend and trust the vendors, I myself still having the difficulties. First of all, let's talk about dresses. If you buy a particular dress online for, say MYR 58, and with the same price, you may find it in physical stores as well. Why don't you buy from the store, whereby, you could try it in the fitting room, see how you REALLY look like in a particular piece of garments, and if its quality is good and you feel good in it? You may even examine the entire garments carefully to make sure it has no defect, before paying for it. As contrast to online purchasing, all you see is the picture, you can't try or touch, you need to IMAGINE how you would look like in it. So, I think e-com is meant for those super duper busy workaholics. Next, as for Groupon, ya, we are buying at a cheaper price, so, perhaps we have no right to argue on the quality part? :(

All in all, I find purchasing books online still acceptable despite of the fact that, the delivery fee is more expensive than the book itself. lol. Ya, perhaps I was too desperate eh? As for purchasing other products, I think I'm a person who prefer to see and touch on my own in order to make a purchase. It feels safer and more secure, not to mention, you access the product first hand, you examine the quality yourself. No one could cheat on you. Right? If you still ended up buying a defective goods in a brick and mortar store, blame your poor judgement then. Ha

'Till next post, cheers :)

Frustration!

Ah, I really "love" our government SO much lar. First thing appeared on my FB wall today when I logged in, were all the news regarding our petrol price. Because of the BR1M voucher, the government held a last minute media press to declare "good" news. The petrol price for RON 95 has now rose from RM1.90 to RM2.10 per litter!! I'm now regretting to the core when I didn't pick up my dad's call last night, perhaps he wanted to inform me about the news.

It wasn't his turn just yet after 3hours of queue and he lashed out!
Location: Durian Tunggal, Melacca.
Source: Click here.

Why? Why couldn't the government give us a prior notice of at least three days? Why did he have to announce it last minute? Right after the news, the petrol stations were all cramped up with people and vehicles. There were people who lashed it out to the petrol pump and smashed them into pieces when rage took over their mind. They couldn't stand that such ridiculous fact is now a FACT, no one could ever change it. According to our despicable Prime Minister, "the 1Malaysia People Aid (BR1M) cash handout will be increased to cushion the impact of higher fuel prices and the impending implementation of the Goods and Service Tax (GST)." (Citation) He believed that, "the slashing petrol and diesel subsidies will not be detrimental to the public.", in other words, "it won't hurt that much!" (Citation) What the hell? He thought the BR1M would be able to offset the lost we have had because of the increase of petrol price?

PS: You would need an account to read the news above. Here's the news open to public: Click here. 

There are some people who criticize on those who blame the government for the hike in petrol price. These particular people point their fingers on the frustrated ones. They argued, "If you have time to waste a few hours of petrol just for the 20 cents rise in the price, why not cut down your Starbucks consumption for the sake of the few cents?" OMG! How shallow their thinking is?! The rise in petrol price doesn't just affect the individuals, okay? It affects the entire economy chain, for godness sake! Your daily consumption of food, groceries, or any other goods, how do you think they arrived within your reach in the shop all the way from the warehouse of the distributors? They just happened to "miraculously" appeared there in the shelves? No transportation is needed to carried them? Hell NO! The entire chain starts from the moment they collect the goods from the port (for import goods)/factories (locally produced goods), to the warehouse, to the distributor, to the middlemen, after a few hands, to the consumers. All these involve PETROL and that's why it matters! The burden of increment in transportation fee would be transfered to the consumers for no doubt, by increasing the selling price to cover their expenses. Therefore, prices of most of the products, if not every product increases! It's a long-term impact too, okay? OMG! These people can't even understand the whole chain effect properly and see the bigger picture yet judge those who complained. As if the overall standard of living in Malaysia is good enough to bear for it. zzzz

Malaysia is a petroleum exporting country, yet, the government can't even take care of the welfare of people in terms of affordability for car petrol. Not to mention, the MYR has been depreciating since a few weeks ago. On 12th August, GBP/MYR crossed the frontier and reach 5.0244 selling rate. On 27th August, GRP/MYR touched the all-time-high at 5.1879. Some of my friends who are already applying VISA to study in UK started filling up their FB wall to express their despair of the situation. Well, let's not take UK for the comparison, Singapore, our neighbour would be far enough to distinguish the differences. All the while, the conversion rate has been floating at 2.4+, on 11th June, SGD/MYR rose to 2.5014 and has been rising gradually, touched the all-time-high at 2.6031 on 28th August. (Source) I do not know why I feel so ashamed to have a ruling parting which ruins the future of Malaysia. If Malaysia finds it ridiculous for the people to be raged over the issue, please develop a proper system for public transportation and thus, there is no need for the people to own a car. See how Singapore is doing? See how Germany is doing? Ordinary citizens can't find any reason to possess a car when travelling from Point A to Point B is nothing less than convenient; only super wealthy people own cars. In Malaysia, however, car is a necessity, not want.

Don't get me wrong, I love the country, I love the place where I was born and raised. But the government? Pfffft! When I looked over my shoulder and see how advanced Singapore has become, I have no idea why am I still in Malaysia. Malaysia has been discouraging all the other races in any field, setting barriers and obstacles in hopes to see all the other races fall. Take for example, students (other races) who have got straight A's hardly gotten a place in the government university, whereas students (their kind) who got only 3-4 A's secured theirs. Students with different skin color who wish to study medic, have to go for a so-called "interview" by the "authorized" party, making their destiny determined by out-most bias. Students who got their professional licences from private institutions are not recognized by the government, which means, they will never get a job at the government departments. Hell, who cares? They will definitely secure their jobs in the private sectors and get paid handsomely! Grrrr..

This is one of the reasons why, a high percentage of Malaysians chose to work overseas. The government just doesn't know how to appreciate the human resources the country has. Pua Khien-Seng, the Father of Pendrive, the CEO of Phison Electronics Corp based in Taiwan is one of the example. Malaysia doesn't "want" him and thus, he was forced to pursue his dream in Taiwan and run the business with few partners. Now, he is one of the most admirable entrepreneur in Malaysia. Take Robert Kuok for example, I bet most of you must have heard of his name. Malaysia doesn't "want" him too, set a lot of barriers in limiting his moves, "kicked" him out and guess what's the result. From Sugar King of Malaysia, he became Sugar King of the World, controlling the sugar market globally! 

Well, these are some of the most significant public figure that I want to talk about in the business industry. Though the information in Wikipedia might not be totally true, you may want to have a look in it, List of Malaysia Chinese: Click here. One of my tuition teacher back in high school once said, "In all the other countries, education is judged based on qualification; in Malaysia, however, people are judged by 'kulit-fication'." (Note: "kulit" means skin.) It basically means, if your skin colour is same with theirs, ya, you will be given hell lotta privileges that they "deserve". Otherwise, hell no! You will not be seen as a "proper" human to deserve all those, don't even dare to dream of it, child!

What I want to say is, I used to be oblivious towards what's happening around me. I used to only listen to what my dad, or what my teaches/lecturers or friends told me. As I grow older, I've gotten more sensitive towards all these unfair treatments! When it comes to politics, ya, I have no intention to be involved in it, or even be part of it. But when it comes to the government, I will always have so much to talk about. There are so many criticism out there on the government, I even subscribed to one of the blogs. Its a medium to voice out, though it may not help much to make changes to the events happening, it somehow acts as a medium to express personal feelings. You may not agree with me, and you don't have to if you don't want to. All these are mere personal grudges. Ya, I do hold grudges against the government, but we do have our freedom of speech, okay? (not a "total-freedom" though) zzzz

Last but not least, thank you Malaysia, for the "wonderful" Merdeka gift. I wonder what would come after 16th September, the Malaysia Day. Well, better be prepared for the worst to come! 

You really "made" my day lar, Malaysia. You really did!

'Till next post, cheers :)

Merdeka?

This is not a patriotic post, its rather a simple post on how I spent my Merdeka weekend. On Friday, or should I say Saturday (it was 12 in the midnight), I had a conversation with my dear jimui for more than one hour over the phone. The initial objective was to discuss our plan for our X'mas. It's rather saddening that, with a friendship, nah, scratch that, a jimui-ship for over a decade, we have never gone for any trip before! Could you imagine how hilarious is that? And this time, seeing that we have both turned 21, I had an idea to start having our little own tradition. I proposed that, we will spend the X'mas together every year. Even until the day one of us, or both of us have a boyfriend, this will be a tradition that both of us shall honour. Its either we ditch our boyfriends for the festival, or bring them along, the most important thing is, we have swore to keep this promise for as long as we shall live! Hehe ❤

A small note:
Dear jimui, just want you to know that, no matter what happens, I'll always be there for you, okay? ❤
Be strong and never give up! Hope what I said over the phone somehow motivated you to move forward. :)

I woke up at 9am the next day, taken a shower, packed my stuff and got into the car. Today was national day, as a citizen of the father land, somehow I was numb and didn't feel as excited as I was back in primary school. When I was a small kid, I used to get up early, switch on the television and watch the Merdeka parade via live. I was particularly fond of the floats which were decorated with different themes. However, I can no longer figure out the reason why I found it amazing back then. Is it because I'm growing up and find it rather amusing to admire those floats amid the effort that the designers and participants had contributed? Or is it I can no longer feel the joy of celebrating the national day ever since we left primary school, after all, we are no longer naive, in a way I think (here, referring to all the dark-politics that I was never know about their existence back then). PS: I wasn't referring to any party in particular.

On a separate note, this was what I found when I launched the Google page:

I like the hibiscus-shaped flag though :)

Anyway, I arrived at home for lunch and then went for a movie with my high school bestie. She was the one "jio-ing" me (Note: it basically means asking me out) for a movie. She wanted to watch City of Bones, which I've longed for. Though we were supposed to meet at 2pm for the 3.20pm movie, she made me waited at Popular Book Store for an hour because of traffic jam (heavy weather). Because of this unintended event, I bought another two novels. Haha. Anyway, guess what's next? We couldn't make up for it and kinda reluctantly bought tickets for Elysium, the 4.30pm session. One thing she commented on my hair was, "Even wigs look nicer than your hair", ah, that really broke my heart a little. :( Hmm, since she had not eaten anything filling, we went to Lavender for late lunch.

The menu looks inviting. :D

Left: A kind of pasta which tasted like Pan-mee soup.. lol
Right: Grilled Zucchini Sun Dried Tomato Pesto Panini
(Sorry for the bad quality)

There, CT handed me over the customized necklace which we bought together from Groupon. We talked about the movie that we've bought for, talked about life, the necklace and joked around. By the way, hers costs a mere RM58, while mine was RM100, due to the material which I've chosen, the premium version of hers. You may want to have a clearer description and photos presented to you, despite of the low-quality attachments below. Click here. We then rushed to the cinema when we thought we were about to be late, only to realize that, erm, well, a line of sentence appeared on the screen, "Please rise for the national anthem". We had no choice but to comply with all due respect. I mean, I didn't have the enthusiasm to sing the anthem before a movie when seeing some foreigners (or were they locals?) recording/taking photos amused me in ways I couldn't have possibly imagined before.

After the movie, I walked her to Mc'D as she was asked to bring home some dinner. I waved her off at the parking lot and darted back to mine. The first thing I did, was unwrapped the package, wait, the envelope to be exact.

Top: How lovely the envelope was.
Bottom left: The warranty card above the cotton cloth.
Bottom right: Steps/guidelines to prolong its lifespan.

Top: My customized necklace. When would I wear it, I wonder~
Bottom: Hand made with love? I wholeheartedly hope so XD

That's it, nothing particularly special happened. That was how my days went. Tomorrow is Monday again, but Monday blue? Nah, get yourself up and keep fighting aite! :)

'Till next post, cheers ^^