The Mask

"We all wear different masks for different reasons. 

Some masks we put on because it’s truly who we want to be. 

Some we wear because we can’t bear to face what’s really underneath. 

Or because it’s what someone else needs us to be. 

And some masks we wear because we hope to stay hidden. 

But that’s the problem with wearing masks. 

They can be ripped off at any moment."- GG.

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else,

is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is a reason behind everything. Thus, the reason this topic is chosen, has nothing less to do with my recent encounters. I admit, I am not much of a socialite. Erm, people might define "socialite" differently. Some may say, "A person who has more than 500 or 1000 friends on FB", "A person who will never eat alone in the cafeteria", "A person who gets everyone's attention whenever he/she speaks", "A person who has no troubles lending money from others" and so on. As for me, I don't fit any of the mentioned definitions.

To be frank, I have slightly more than 500 friends in FB, but.. Hmm.. I'll come back to that later on. Though I never eat alone in the cafeteria, but it doesn't mean that I always eat with my friends. When they left me out for some secret agenda of theirs, I always opt to "tapau", or in English, we call it, "take away". Whenever I speak, no one seems to be paying full attention. Erm, maybe FULL attention is too demanding, make it "partial" attention then. Their minds are always somewhere else, as if I'm just some random invisible entity that they can't even feel my presence. Perhaps, I should thank God that at least sometimes, they gave me some unintended nods to acknowledge me. Oh, and their "why-should-I-care" or "whatever-you-like" or "none-of-my-business" shrugs. Money.. Hmm.. I'm fortunate enough to have a lovely father who always asks me, "Do you have enough money to spend? Otherwise, remember to let me know so that I could transfer the cash in for you." (Oh, please don't take it in the wrong way. I'm not as rich as you thought! He just doesn't want to see me starve.) That shall save me the troubles of asking for money from any of my friends, I reckon.

Okay. Actually, I'm not THAT pathetic at all, at least, not as pathetic as it sounds like. It's important for us to have more than one groups of friends. When this group ditches you, you may join the other groups. I'm glad that the moment I started my tertiary education, I seized the opportunities to join as many clubs and events as possible, met and made new friends. Though most of them have now become some hi-bye friends of mine, I'm glad that some of us are still in close contact with one another. There is a saying, "Friends come and go". There is no need to be disheartened whenever people leave you. This is your life, only YOU alone are responsible for the quality of it, no one would walk alongside you from A-Z.

Wait, I think I might have a little bit out of the topic here. MASK. That's what I'm supposed to write about. I think here's where the FB issue comes in. Some of my friends, (to be precise, not those clubs/events friends, they are my classmates!) un-friend my in FB and pretend as if nothing happened. I mean, if my clubs/events friends are the ones who did that, I would have understood. We seldom talk and they might have even forgotten me, thus decided to un-friend me. BUT, classmates? What did I do that they despise me sooo much to the extend that they have to un-friend me? You may say, "Hey, why are you so sulky? It's just FB. There is no need to make it such a big damn issue just because people un-friend you!" Well, there's where you are wrong.

This is not a mere issue of FB, it's the issue of pretense! Why did they un-friend you yet pretend as if you are still a friend of theirs? If they have no longer seen you as their friend, why do they talk to you? (ya, occasionally) There is no need for a whole line of charades at all. This group of sanctimonious people are wearing mask around the campus, wave and smile at you, they even greet you at times. But when you are not with them, there they are, criticizing and gossiping behind your back. The saying goes, "There is a reason why are people talking behind your back, because, they are BEHIND YOU." Well, to answer the question, "Why do they still talk to you?", you will realize, this will only happen when they NEED you!

At first, I found it quite disheartening when the truth revealed. I thought that, I must have done something which brought all these upon myself. It was in a conversation with some high-school friends of mine that made me realized, I'm not the only one who is going through all these. According to some of my besties in high schools, many of their friends are those as described above. When they need you for a group assignment, which will only happen when your results are better than them, only then they will approach you and ask you to join. When your results seem to be on its way down the drain, here's when you'd see their true colour.

If they have any issues or problems with you, they won't tell you right at the face and solve them in person. They prefer to keep it from you, stay away from you, and opt to criticize you when you are not around. However, they can't just totally ignore you and abandon you! They have to wear a mask, at least trying to be nice to you for only three reasons. One, so that you won't notice any unfamiliar or unusual acts from them and thus, won't build your guard up against them, which leads to Two, they could sabotage you easily when you have unconsciously turning into a threat against them, seeing that you are now vulnerable without any armoured shell, or Three, IF one day, you are of more value than/to them, and turn into a better prospect that they could never have found/gotten from elsewhere, they would quickly flock around you because they NEED you!

Since I was a kid, my dad has always been telling me that, the world out there is much darker than you ever thought. As a kid, we were exposed to fairy tales or fantasy stories some, if not mainly, from Disney, whereby, every, or at least most of the stories have a happy ending. Bad guys will always pay for what they have done and the good ones will get what they deserve. Since young, we have been taught to be a nice person, with a whole bunch of list with endless values that we should possess, such as acceptance, appreciation, care, consciousness, devotion, empathy, helpful, honesty, and never ending "guidance" to be a SAINT. But the truth is, in the world out there, these kind of people have almost, if not completely, extinct!

There is a term in Economics which is called "The Invisible Hand", explaining the relationship between demand and supply. This has been made well known to almost everyone. But, how many of you, realized that, the theory of "Invisible Hand" is actually driven by the nature of selfishness? People demand goods that are of the best price, they want the cheapest products which are able to provide them the highest satisfaction. Businessmen, who sell goods at the so-called "market price", are not running their business on a charity basis. They want to make the maximum profit out of it and make sure that the welfare of their shareholders are being well taken care of. Both parties are selfish, their actions are to satisfy self-needs. And this, is the mechanism of "The Invisible Hand".

Hence, there is no need to blame this kind of people or feel disgust to have met them in your life. Instead, you should thank them for, they have made you learn the ugly truth. They are selfish, deceiving, and make use of others. When you are of no value, they leave. I had a thought of wearing a mask too. I mean, if people are wearing mask to achieve whatever they want to achieve without even care for the harm that they have/might have caused to the other parties, why should I care as well? Why can't I wear mask and do the same as what they have been doing? But then I realized, if I were to wear a mask just like them, what makes me different from them? I'll be nothing more than a copy of another MASK. I mean, I don't want to be a mask, I want to be ME, a GENUINE ME! A wise man once said, "No one shall wear a mask, no one but the weak ones."

"Some people come into your life as blessings; others come in your life as LESSONS." For those who have been there, I wish you all the best in holding on to your true belief and never succumb to the toughest of environment. Though there are fake friends out there, remember to treasure the REAL friends dearest to your heart, for they come only once in a life time. I'm blessed for having them in my life despite of my encounters with some so-called "friends" who have taught me priceless lesson. Rest assured, the lesson has been well learnt!

'Till next post. Cheers :)