The Letters #4

It has been a challenging year to me. I was lost. I made a lot of hard and risky decisions, thus had no choice but to muster up courage to face a series of unprecedented uncertainties and accept the ugly truths in life. It is time to be a grown up, and understand that, not every promises are meant to be kept; there are times where people just can’t keep their promises and we have no choice but to accept the fact. Anyway, God has been generous to me this year, went for 4 oversea trips and 2 local trips (will update blog when I’ve got the time! Speaking of which, I’ve not even done updating my SG trip yet! Lol) Besides, I also went and watched Kung Fu Panda 3 alone and cried like hell LOL.. This is one of the advantages of watching movie alone, no one gets to see your swollen eyes. So yeah, I think I’ve learned to move on? Like finally? I’m forever grateful to have those of you who have been by my side through ups and downs. It would have been a much more difficult year without you all.

Dear Jimui,

It’s such a regret that we only managed to meet for like, less than 3 times this year? Omg, we used to hangout so frequently back then, but ever since you have been rather bogged down with work, it’s so hard for us to find time that could match our schedule. So sad that we couldn’t keep our promise to celebrate Christmas together again, due to the circumstances that we are in right now. However, I hope that you had fun during your Christmas trip with your music kakis!

On a separate note, just wanna let you know how honoured I am, to be the one you sought advice from. I’m happy to be given the privilege to help you out when you were at your cross-road, contemplating your next move in your career path. I’m not sure if my two-cent helped in ways that you expected, but the fact that you even thought of me when you were in need, has already made my heart melt. I hope we are on our way to fixing things up?

Please let me know if you need anything from me, be it a pair of listening ears, or teman you for shopping, or just chill and catch up over coffee! All the best in the new year ahead yeah :)

Dear CT,

First of all, congratulation again that you are finally, finally a government servant! Hahahaha.. How is it going on there with you? I know things have been pretty consuming and crazy over there but please do remember to take good care of yourself and don't be too stressed out like me. Kan you always ask me to chill and take things slow and stop pushing myself too hard? Now, my turn to say the same to you! Remember to update your blog whenever your time permits aite! You know that you have me as your loyal reader, or in this case, stalker LOL Hope that you are getting the hang of it and eventually find a medic bf there? XD

Anyway, I’m happy and grateful that we are getting even closer this year round. Hmm.. What was the trigger point ya? I failed to recall any significant event that happened, but somehow or rather, we had finally did what we have always wanted to do, like Blair and Serena! This is the year where we had sleepover at both your house and mine! Awwww.. Well, what I learnt about sleepover is that, it would always end up until pretty late, like around 4 in the morning?? Too much things to chat and gossip about eh lol

This is also the year where we talked more about relationship stuffs? Especially some of the things that I feel awkward to talk to anyone else, even my family! I’m forever grateful that you are always by my side, and always critically challenge the way I think and feel, to make me realise things that I could have missed out or confused. And I wish to do the same for you too! So, if you ever have complicated “relationship” stuffs, please feel free to bug me! Or rather, let me bug you! XD

P/S What happened to our plan to enrol for French class ar? Ahem ahem!!!

Dear DN,

Erm, I’m not sure how should I start here. But I guess I need to thank you again. Thanks for everything that you have done and erm, I need to apologise. It’s my fault that we are at where we are right now. If I were to be more decisive, and stand firm on what I felt since the very very beginning before anything else started, then perhaps things wouldn’t have ended up this way. Like you have said, you are not sure if we could still be friends. This is one of the things that I dislike about relationships. When things didn’t turn out the way you thought it would, suddenly everyone becomes strangers to each other.

But.. I still need to say this. I really appreciate the time that we spent together, be it just a random chill out at the garden, or flying our drones around, or making a trip away from the city, I thank you for all the wonderful moments that we have shared. Though it was just a mere few months, you have made me understand myself more. I think timing, is indeed a two-way thing. I’m sorry to have hurt you but I think everything happens for a reason? I really hope that you would find the right girl who truly loves you for who you are. Wishing you all the best in your future endeavours and take care.

Dear J,

So, finally you are graduating this year! Congratulations again *pulling out confetti* and welcome to the working world! Have fun with all the kids under your care ya.. You are an adult now, don’t keep on thinking that you are still a child and sama-sama play with them pulak LOL

Anyway, though we were unable to make it for a trip this year, at least we made it to catch up! I’ve always longed to see you because every time we met, both of us would definitely be sampat-sampat about almost everything if not everything! Even a simple stroll in the shopping mall was filled with so much fun with you LOL

Thanks for being there for me through thick and thin. Like what I’ve said in IG, you would always have the ability to make me laugh like siao no matter how emo I was! I can never imagine how my life would be like without you, seriously! I’m forever grateful that our friendship from primary school is still intact and getting stronger as time passes. Love you, my dear ShaPoh!

Dear ZL,

It’s always good to catch up with you, you know? It used to be me who kept on motivating you to strive for the life you want. But now, it seems like you are perfectly capable of motivating yourself to achieve your life goals already. You have no idea how proud I am for you. Though there were some hiccups along the way, you would always breeze it through and stand back up to fight again.

I’m glad that we finally made up for things that we missed out last year. This time round, I was able to squeeze in some time for your birthday and managed to celebrate Christmas with you too! I really hope we would be able to do the same for next year and years after! :D

I’m happy to see that your relationship is getting better and sweeter each day and that, he truly appreciates you and loves you for who you are. You guys have been through so much and finally planning to tie the knot. It’s my pleasure to be the one of the first few to know this good news! It’s time for me to prepare a big big angpao for you liao! 

P/S Just the angpao is big only ar.. As for the content.. Hmm.. you need to discover it yourself d LOL

Dear Mr A,

I know I had been quite naïve back then, didn’t know any rules and how the game is being played out but already started troubling you all over and I’m terribly sorry for that. However, I’m thankful that you still have patience and faith in me and has been looking out for me. Good to see you again during the alumni dinner and it’s my pleasure to have met your boss! You guys are just too amazing and I can’t help myself from admiring you both more! XD

I’m lucky to have you as my bro, who always share your knowledge and experience with me and guide me through when I was lost. I still have a lot of things that I need to learn when it comes to doing business and dealing with people. I’m lucky to have someone to look up to :)

Thanks for inviting me over to your events. I like the way you presented your stuffs and you look super yaoyeng there! I’m so proud of you and you will always be my idol :D Too bad we couldn’t make time for your birthday dinner this year! I’m sure it’s because you were too busy and had too many people queuing up to treat you great food! Haha.. Well, I really hope that I’m able to make it up for you next year, okay? :D

Dear Mr L,

Congratulations again sir, that you have successfully setup yet another new venture. It’s indeed a true honour to be the first few to learn about it. With you on the realm, I’m sure you would bring the new company to greater heights with your vast expertise and elaborate networks.

Thanks for helping me out with my project. Though it didn’t really work out at the end, which made me felt extremely paiseh, your guidance and advice have definitely helped me a lot and I could use them should I have another project coming up, which I reckon, most probably would be early next year. I promise that the time you have spent on me will not go down the drain and that I will make sure I stick to it until it works out!

On a separate note, I’ve finally joined yoga class as promised! Though I’m still at a very beginner stage, I hope that it would eventually help shapes a healthier lifestyle in order for me to take on the journey ahead, especially in terms of focus and relaxation. Speaking of which, I’m contemplating on joining a meditation camp.. Hmm.. I shall update you again next year aite! Wishing you all the best with your new venture and remember to take good care of your health ya. We shall catch up again soon :D

Dear Mr CKM,

You are indeed a very funny person to chat with, sir, always young at heart! Haha.. Though I have left the company for few years now, you still care for me like a daughter, always asking me how am I doing and send funny stuffs to make my day haha.. You would always have my best interest at heart and never forget to share some of the interesting news with me, be it finance, economy or even some of the latest technologies like AI and 3D printing! :D

Thanks for all the random chats that we shared, sir! Hope that life has been treating you well too and all the best in your future undertakings!

Dear S and LP,

I’m glad that we are still in touch, given the fact that LP you are married! LOL Though almost every time you sure said your schedule is full, we still managed to make time for yumcha and birthday celebrations! Awww thank you for treating this friendship with love and care <3

As for S, hohoho.. How are you with KT now??? XD Anyway, I can’t wait to take on the voyage with you next year on wards! We had been dragging this for quite some time now and we weren’t being productive at all, which made me felt so guilty in a way! However, I have a feeling that we two will make a great team and embrace the challenges ahead together hand-in-hand. I can never thank God enough to have met you in my life. Still remember they say, business partners are like people in a relationship? Because they’d spend almost the entire day together, every day for the next 5-10 years? Let’s fall in love deeply and fiercely then, shall we?? XD

Dear Mr K,

Well, I think there is a reason why I stumbled upon your app, downloaded it and that we have been chatting ever since? Haha thanks for coming up with such an amazing platform to help ease collaborations in the community and foster a healthier and more efficient ecosystem. You guys are just too awesome in organising beneficial events that deliver values that words just ain’t enough to do you justice. Hope able to join more next year! :D

Thanks for having me over for coffee and shared with me your experience in starting up. You are very humble with all your achievements and that only makes me look up to you even more. Thanks for being an awesome companion as well! XD Too bad, we didn’t even have a photo together ‘till now! Aiks... Anyway, hope to catch up with you soon aite! :D

Dear CH,

First thing first, congratulations!!!! I’m so happy for you man! I was already very thrilled when we finally got the chance to catch up for the first time after being apart for like, more than a decade! Then, few months later, you were informing me that you are settling down! Thanks for asking me to be one of your “jimui” for your wedding, it’s such a great honour to be part of this meaningful event and significant milestone in your life, you know? Gosh, you are really good in throwing surprises all around eh?

Still remember the time when we were in Standard One? I don’t understand why no one wanted to be friend with me back then but you were the only one who stayed. We would always makan together during recess time, by the drain! LOL Ya, when people were all enjoying their food properly in the canteen, we were makan-ing by the drain side LOL Reminiscing back the good old times makes me feel so emo right now. Time really flies wey, in a blink of an eye, you are going to build your own family soon!! Wish you two stay sweet and live happily ever after aite! Can’t wait to attend your wedding :D

Dear Ah Ben & MY,

Finally you are back, MY! Hope that you are coping well with the weather over here LOL So proud of you that you have finally graduated and on your way to becoming a professional lawyer! I’ll definitely look for your professional advice in the future :D

Thanks for keeping our promise to meet up quarterly every year, Ben! I always look forward to seeing you because I know I’ll certainly enjoy your SS-ness and “blow-water” skills! Haha.. Anyway, stay strong Ben, though it’s not as easy as you wish it to be, now that you have experience in answering those papers, I think it would help build your confidence in a way or another? Nothing comes easy right? I’m also struggling to make things work at my side here.. Hmm.. So yeah, let us all ganbatte together aite!

Dear Mr S,

Though you are two years younger than me, you are by far one of the most ambitious young lads that I’ve ever met in my life. Not just that you are ambitious, you put your words into actions as well, and that makes me salute you even more. You have been into the adult world much earlier than me and that’s why you have seen so much more than me though I’m a bit elder than you, and this makes me feel so ashamed of myself at times. But but but, your influence on me is actually a more positive note than negative ones lar :)

Thanks for sharing with me your experience and exposure in 3D Printing and brought me around to know people in this industry. You even be our tour guide during the Maker Fair in SG because you know I’m rather shy when it comes to networking and making new friends! Thanks for being so nice and attentive when I was in an environment that I was not familiar with and I really appreciate that. 

Though we might not be on the same boat heading to the same destination, you have taught me so much that I owe you a meal. All the best in your future endeavours and do let me know if you ever need any of my help at all. My pleasure to be able to help you out in areas that are within my power and capability. Please keep in touch and catch up again next year aite!

Dear comrades,

In a blink of an eye, we have finally finished our studies! Thanks for all your support and guidance throughout the length of time. I don’t think I would have made it through without you guys. Thanks to Mr W as well, for always initiating study group for us to catch up. And there is Papa J, you are as helpful and resourceful as ever, always our reminder for just anything at all, from registration for exam and workshops, to food promotions/vouchers! Haha..

On a separate note, though the results have yet to be announced, I’d like to think that I’ve passed the papers for now. Haha.. Let’s pray together for our final paper. There’s nothing else that we could do to salvage the situation and hence, I choose not to dwell in the past and we shall all move forward to welcome the new year ahead. Erm, *touch wood* if I were fail the paper, I hope that you guys would still be around to help me out? LOL

I hope that we are still in close contact though some of us might successfully graduate from the course, okay? This industry is only this small, and we shall keep each other updated on the news and trends eh. Oh wait, if you guys have any events or activities or yumcha session, please do jio as well! All the best to all of you ya, may the years ahead treat you well too :D

Dear TL,

So, here's me, again, trying to get my message across just in case you overlooked the SMS which I showed you that day. I think this would be the last time I ever write to you, so, please, please be serious and finish this, I beg of you.

Like I’ve said over and over again, I don’t understand why everything has to be so complicated and I wish to know why we ended up at where we are today. So, should we just put an end to this? If you no longer want to talk to me, or want me to disappear from your life, in other words, cut all ties off for good, please let me know straight to my face and save all your charades. Where are your balls that now you need a female proxy to handle your private affairs and tell me off on your behalf? Hmm? What a shame.

Is it because we are not biological siblings and that's why I deserve this kind of inhumane treatment again and again? If I knew this is how we would end up at, I'd never wanted a brother in the first place. The bro-sis pact must have been nothing more than a joke to you right? I'm sorry to have been such a fool to believe that, it is a pact that we will honour for life.

If this is what you want, I'll respect you. And I beg for your mercy to give me my peaceful life back. I can't take all these sh*ts anymore. I know I'm insignificant. I'm sorry to have been a burden in your life. All the best and take care.

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Fuh.. After written down these whole "stacks of letters", I just noticed that, there are quite a number of "congratulations" over there! Seems like everyone is doing so great and achieving so much in their life. As for me? What have I achieved then? Hmm.. TBH, not much. This year has been quite a happening one, not in terms of career progression though, it's more like a journey of self- exploration? There was a period where I was really lost and didn't know what to do.. Oh wait, perhaps I'm still a little lost now, but I've laid a plan out to continue the exploration starting next year, which is from tomorrow on wards! I really hope that 2017 would be a fruitful and rewarding one!

On a separate note, I'm happy that I've finally picked up yoga! As mentioned above, though it has been just a mere few months, my body always aches after all the stretching sessions! Which I think should be a good thing? 'Cause my body has been too stiff? LOL BTW BTW, I've finally managed to do the Sirasana pose "by accident" lol.. But now, I still need to lean against the wall for support. I really hope that I would be able to do it without any support by end of next year! *Jiayou

I've been thinking to add one more item onto my current plate now to push myself a little bit further. What should I pick up next? Hmm.. I really need to make a decision before CNY next year! I know that work-life-balance is very important and thus, I hope that it would help achieve the goal. Next year would be a very hectic year, 10x more challenging than the pass 20 over years that I've been living through! I'm very scared to take on the road less taken but at the same time, I'm also quite excited to discover new things along the way, meet new people and learn from them, and ride on a roller coaster with no end! I hope that this bunch of great people will still be by my side to guide me through and see me grow! :D

I will pray for greater strength to face the unknown ahead. I really hope that I could still cope with what the future holds! It's time to unfold them one step at a time! Anyway, hope that this year has been treating you good too and all the best in the new year ahead! Ganbatte!! #HopeCourageStrength