The Letters #6

This year has been a tough one! This year, I am all alone. This year, I felt very exhausted, mind, body and soul. Don’t really have much things to talk about because my daily life was basically just carrying out routine tasks. Now that I think back, I kinda miss my life last year but well, we all need to move on somehow, don’t we? Btw, now only I realized that, the whole 2018 I only updated my blog twice, one about CNY and one about GE14. This would be my third post for the year. Gosh…

Ok, I’ll just head on straight to my customary gratitude letters:

Waking Up To Malaysia 2.0

As my alarm beeping aloud at 7am sharp, I was still being caught up in a strange dream, struggling to escape to reality. Rubbing my eyes, I forced myself awake albeit the perfect room temperature and ambience that tempted me to just roll back in to my quilt. Suddenly something popped out of my head, I was supposed to check on something. Yes, the GE14 results! I went to bed around 145am because my eye lids were too heavy to stay opened any longer. Yes, shame on me. Hat off to those who managed to keep vigil in front of their TVs or laptops or smartphones for live streaming. Anyway, instead of my usual daily habits where I go to washroom to freshen up first thing in the morning, this time I just grabbed my phone, unlocked my screen, turned off my alarm and switched on the WIFI. While waiting for messages to flood in, I took in a deep breath and prayed that the result is what most of us have always wanted. It was a jaw-dropping moment as I scrolling through all the messages received from different parties and groups. I rubbed my eyes again, re-read all the messages again word-by-word, hoping what I’ve just seen remains true. As I gotten more awake and conscious, I could no longer contain the rush of joy in me, and I went, “YES, finally! Thank God, I love you!!”

9^th May 2018 was the date scheduled for GE14, or known as the 14^th General Election. This is, or rather, was my first time casting a vote in a general election. I was so nervous that I already started getting myself familiarised with the process, Do’s and Don’ts and things to watch out for from 10^th April, the day they officially announced the date for GE14. So yeah, my phone has been receiving messages, info-graphics, news, videos, links and so on, everything related to GE14 for the whole one-month. On the eve of GE14, I got to bed relatively earlier than usual. I prayed hard to God hoping that everything would go smoothly the next day. I thought I was well prepared, and won’t feel the slightest bit of nervousness on THE day, but I was wrong.

I got up 5.30 in the morning because I need one hour to get ready. Yeah, girls being girls lol.. At 6.30am, I just had two slices of bread with warm water, had a quick chat with family and left home at 7.05am. I needed to travel myself because I was the only one voting at a different station than my other family members. I decided to leave early to avoid any traffic jam, and also to get better parking space. This time, they got me an Islamic school that I decided to wrap myself up properly to avoid any unnecessary conflicts. Which means, I was wearing a basic-T covered with a long sleeves cardigan, a pair of long jeans with sport shoes. But apparently, I was thinking too much. At around 7.20am, I arrived at the school and saw people wearing short sleeves-T queuing at the counter setup under a canvas I quickly parked my car, put on light lipsticks (I look like a sick patient without lipstick on) and rushed to the line before it got too long. I thought I was considered early but there were already more than 20 people ahead of me. Kudos to all the ohm-spirits shown by the Rakyat!

First photo I took on 9th May.
Such a beautiful beam of light symbolising the beam of hope

After a mere 5 minutes of queuing, we were told by the officer to straight queue at our respective Saluran if we already knew ours. Saluran means classroom, and mine was Saluran 6 located on the second floor and there I was, the 8^th in the line. I was still feeling quite chill and had been scrolling through my social media non-stop only to find out that, none of my friends posted any updates on their whereabouts yet. I think I was the earliest one lol. As the clock ticking, all 6 queues were getting longer. I was quite fortunate because my Saluran was quite punctual, whereas Saluran 5 was about 10 minutes late due to some “technical glitches” (saw few of them quarrelling over some issues). When it was about to be my turn, I started feeling a bit nervous.

When the police officer waved at me to go in to the classroom, I handed my I/C over to the Kerani 1. She searched my name from a book of name list, located mine, and asked me to show her all my fingers. After she rubbed all my fingers and done the inspection, I was instructed to proceed to the Kerani 2. While she held my left index finger and dipping it in to the bottle with indelible ink, Kerani 1 was reading out loud my Bill No, Name and I/C No. Then, I quickly wrapped my index finger with tissue that I’ve prepared beforehand and proceeded to the Kerani 3. She stamped, tore and folded the ballots twice before passing them to me. I quickly inspected the ballots to make sure they are completely clean, just the way we were taught from the info graphics.

I then headed towards the covered table to draw my Crosses. I felt a bit nervous lol I inspected the ballots again and again and really took my time to make sure everything is perfect, before dropping off my ballots into the respective transparent box located in the middle of the classroom. Done, I’m done. When I left the classroom and heading out, I noticed that the queues for other Saluran which were located on ground floor had already reaching the school gate, around 200m long. It was only around 820am and I’m glad that I’ve made the right decision to come here super early in the morning.

luckily I took this way before the ink got darker LOL

As I was driving home, I noticed that the road sides have been filled with cars. Some of the stations have got queue with more than a kilometre long.  When I arrived back home, the first thing I did was to take pictures with and of my finger LOL My dad asked me how was the polling going on and I said it was quite smooth and peaceful and quiet. It was like, everyone already knew something big was going to happen, we were all just patiently and faithfully fulfilling our duty as a Rakyat. Suddenly, my stomach rumbled, and I quickly walked towards the kitchen and helped myself with my breakfast. As I was having my Kuey Teow Soup, my phone started vibrating like nobody’s business, messages kept flooding in, they were all mainly photos of fingers in WhatsApp lol I think this GE is the one that I felt most involved in, felt related to and felt like, I could finally exercise my rights as a citizen of Malaysia.

My initial plan was to continue doing my work from home after casting my vote but it seemed that I have underestimated the power of social media. Every now and then, there were updates on the latest polling status, people are urging each other to remember to bring umbrellas and water to stay hydrated, and reminders on what to look out for. One of the senders shared about his experience when he received ballots with stamp stains and the Kerani refused to change for a new one until he shouted out loud and gotten the attention from the PACAs. (PACA stands for Polling Agent/Counting Agent. They are the people who monitor and facilitate the voting process to ensure no hanky panky going on) He urged all of us to help reminding everyone we know to not compromise and it’s our right to ask for a new ballot and that every vote counts. People were using social media to spread words, on some of the “tricks” used to invalidate votes and help raise the awareness and alertness.

One of my friends, CT arrived at the station at 830am and had to queue from outside of the school compound under the hot scorching sun. Yes, the weather gets hotter from 830am on wards, and am glad that they did bring umbrellas with them. They waited 4 hours in the line and only done casting their votes around 1230pm. As for my dad, he was curious about the turnout for this GE and thus decided to “tour” around different schools in the areas nearby. His conclusion was, too many people in the morning session already, better to go after lunch. So, I was tasked to accompany my grandma because (i) she is unable to walk without support and refuses a walking stick hence needs someone for a support; (ii) no other better choice as my other family members were assigned to different Saluran and also, I’ve casted my vote. So yeah, we arrived at the station around 230pm and true enough, the queue was a lot shorter than before, according to my dad.

When I led my grandma in to her Saluran, the officers on duty were all very friendly and patient. They understand that elderly members are a bit slow in their movements, some can’t see properly or hear properly and hence they don’t mind to repeat instructions or guidance and give kind assistance when need be. Really appreciate a lot for all the kind efforts J It warms my heart seeing elderly like 90 over y/o casting votes even though they could have easily chosen to stay at home to rest but no, they decided to make their voice heard. Felt so badly when I saw the news saying, around 2 mil of youths didn’t register as voters, their actions and behaviour is truly unfathomable. Anyway, when we were done, we went to the canteen to wait for my brother mainly because my grandma needed a place to sit and rest, and the canteen has plenty of empty seats and FAN! Me on the other hand, was trying very hard to recall whether I’ve accidentally forgotten any Cikgu from my primary school. Hmmm..

It was already around 4pm when we got back home. I kept receiving updates and felt itchy hand to share those updates to my Insta Stories too. I think I was quite active there as compared to many of my friends not sure why I was so excited and ganjiong lol My whole morning and afternoon just gone like that when my body decided to call it a day and zonked out on the sofa in the living room. The moment I opened my eyes, it was already almost 7pm, time where they started updating the vote counts.

First time so suagu LOL
1) Taken around half an hour after they dipped my finger.
2) Taken after 4 hours.
3) Taken after 7 hours.
4) Taken after 8 hours.

It was a very intense moment. I remember during the previous GE, all we’ve got was the official TV channels like TV1, TV2 those but now, there were numerous links for people to catch up on live updates! I’m so grateful for technology and people who invented internet and social media seriously! We spent the whole night refreshing pages, following FB live and updates on WhatsApp. Information travels so fast nowadays. For example, when the KTM (Ketua Tempat Mengundi) refused to sign the Borang 14, the news got spread out so fast that the Rakyat nearby rushed to the station to prevent the KTM from running away, and some legal advisers were sent to the station to assist with the matter. The Rakyat also did their very best to prevent “fake votes” from being mixed with the genuine ones. There were quite a lot that happened that night, my phone was vibrating non-stop as the messages coming in.

When Pakatan Harapan (PH) was seen most likely to win the GE14 (at least 112/222), Tun M was live, urging everyone to stay calm, don’t get into a fight with the authorities, don’t act emotionally, stay alert and so on. The Rakyat, after GE13, have learnt to be wiser, more thoughtful and patient this time. I think we have all grown up to a certain extend. With the power of technology, messages transmit across the nation in the split seconds. Speeches from Tun M were being live-broadcasted across devices. The Rakyat no longer depends on the traditional cable channels when most of them are “not clean” and “deliberately causing a delay”. All of us were so anxious waiting for the results because we no longer can afford another 5 years for the next GE. By hook or by crook, GE14 must be clean and fair and our fellow volunteers have all worked sweat and blood to ensure that. This time must be it. #IniKalilah #1758

It was already 130am, and the votes were still being counted. As I dozing off into slumber land, I prayed hard to God that everything will turn out fine, no riot, no blood and no massacre. Thankfully, my prayers, together with millions of others’, have been answered. 10^th May, I woke up to a brand new Malaysia, Malaysia 2.0.

Freshened up, I refreshed different pages and different links again and let the reality sink in, because it was so unbelievable, it was so surreal. After six decades, we are to welcome a new government. At 11 in the morning, Jib-gor held a press conference admitting defeat, at 12 noon, Tun M held a press conference urging the Rakyat to stay calm and witness the historical moment. At 5 in the afternoon, Tun M sought an audience with the King at the palace. At 930pm (though there were rumours that the swearing-in to be held the next day) the whole Malaysia, if not the whole world, were waiting patiently in front of their TVs or laptops, preparing recording devices to capture the historical moments that meant so much to us all. Not sure if it’s a cultural thing when it comes to punctuality, the official ceremony started at around 10pm, where Tun M read out loud his Sumpahan and signed the papers and there, we have a new PM now, for real. Felt so kesian for him, he must be damn busy and exhausted from these two days that, his hands were trembling while they praying. I wonder if he had time for some light meals these past few days...

There were too many things happened too fast in this past two days, I wish to shorten it but also wish to pen down as detailed as I could. After all, it was my first time voting, first time witnessing a shift in leadership, first time being a part of the history. This is the first time I truly understand what it means by “every vote counts”. I’m so touched to see so many people helping their friends to fly their votes back when it’s obviously one of the “strategies” from BN to delay the delivery of ballots to those in overseas. One of my friends also flew all the way from Taiwan, carrying with him ballots from 5 other friends, and flew back right away at night. Few other friends of mine offered to subsidise transportation fees up to RM200 per person for those who need to travel for at least 200km back to hometown to vote. I also have friends who volunteered to be PACAs to ensure clean and fair election by catching phantom-voters and all. There were so many heart-warming moments in this GE14, even though we might be tiny and powerless but when we all come together, we can make a difference. Malaysians are forming a stronger bond setting aside races, religions and skin colours, working hand-in-hand towards a brighter future. I felt a bit guilty that I didn't volunteer for anything. Perhaps the next time, I shall seriously consider PACAs hmmm...

Due to the limitation of my ability to express better, below some of the heart-felt feelings the Rakyat shared on social media that I find beautifully written, related to and agree with:

“Tonight, we have taken a step towards freeing our various institutions, a step towards restoring separation of powers, restoring the rules of law. It’s not about reducing taxes, or bringing back the 1MDB money. Yes, those are important. But more important than those is that, our country can finally begin its healing process. This is the beginning of something wonderful. This is the beginning of Negaraku.”

“I’m so proud of the Malaysian people who have rallied together even when the odds were stacked up against them, to make this change they have yearned for, a reality. I saw people who were so elderly that they couldn’t stand or walk but made it a point to still cast their voice. And people still, when they found out that postal votes wouldn’t make it back in time, gathered as many overseas votes as possible and actually flew home to Malaysia with the votes to make sure everything made it and were counted for. Malaysia, your voice has been heard! You have shown us that when you unite together as one, you show us that amazing things can happen. This day will be cast on the pages of the books that our children will be reading in school.  And know that you are actually living it now and seeing it with your own eyes is incredible.”

“I’m a failed cynic. In spite of my own caution, I’ve allowed myself to feel slightly hopeful. I hate being so vulnerable to being heartbroken. All these stories of overseas Malaysians returning home got to me. Malaysians awaiting postal votes then entrusting them to strangers to carry their hopes back made me feel as if they were entrusting me with their hope. Malaysians everywhere urging each other to go out and participate in a game for our lives, a game so rigged and unfair, the odds so stacked against us, it’s crazy whey we even bother, why we don’t just give up as some have, and I do understand why they gave up, I really do, it’s tiring, it’s stupid, but for some reason many of us still bother, maybe we’re stupid or desperate or we think we just need to keep jumping through these burning hoops, each one smaller and higher and hotter, because it feels like it’s the only thing we are allowed to do. So we jump. Maybe it’ll burn us. Maybe our hearts will break again. But that’s the price of love. So we hope. And we jump. And we burn for the love of this county.”

“The energy, positivity, and unity we’ve seen unfold over the last few weeks, days, hours amongst Malaysians have been incredibly electrifying and I couldn’t be more proud of my country. GE14 reminded us that power truly belongs to the Rakyat, and every voice counts – I hope we never ever forget that. It also reminded us that it’s ever too late to achieve incredible feats. If Mahathir can be re-elected as PM at 92 y/o, I mean…heck, we can do anything we put our hearts and minds to!”

** Ah how I wish my English can be as well-versed as theirs!!!

We regained democracy without the shed of blood, and that I think is worth remembering and to be proud of. Let's hope that with the new leadership, Malaysia no longer need to be famous for all the wrong reasons! Cheers to a better, brighter and cleaner Malaysia.

Jiayou, my dear Malaysia. I'll always love you 💗

My CNY 2018

This post may come a little late but it's better late than never right lol.. Anyway, this is just a casual, short and simple entry to roughly document how my CNY went. Maybe it's over for quite some time already that's why I'm not as ohm to write long essay already lol..

As usual, my relatives were back for the CNY Eve reunion dinner, except one of my aunts. She was terribly and severely ill that she was bed ridden for very long time. That's why this year we didn't take any family reunion shot because we felt bad to have photo without her in it so yeah..

Not sure why this year I wasn't really in a mood for CNY celebration. Throughout the two weeks time, I felt so reluctant to join my cousins for gambling sessions. No matter how many times they JIO me but I firmly said NO. Not sure if it's because I know I don't have gambling luck this year or not. Like two weeks before the CNY, I kinda had something they called "warm-up" gambling session lol where I lost all my capital. It went all the way up to four times of gross profit then shot all the way down to zero damn sad lol.. So yeah, while many of my cousins won few hundred bucks in 2-3 hours, I was shunning away reading book in my room.. Omg sound like so anti-social like that lol..

Then there was the part where we hosted reunion luncheon for extended relatives. This time, I'm tasked to be the photographer of the day. I've never taken any close up shots or portrait shots, so I just simply shot lar lol but some of the photos turned out not bad eh very candid hehe.. suddenly I feel like abit itchy hand wanna buy portrait lens and practice already lol..

This year is also the year where my aunt's family moved to new place.. So yeah, we all visited their house and we were all in awe with the reno and interior design because it's very beautifully done!! So lucky to have a cousin sister who studied interior design and has great sense of taste and able to bring out the homey feel with all the furniture and decos.. We all stayed there until past midnight because we felt so comfy and so reluctant to leave their place lol

Unlike previous years where I hardly had any yeesang during CNY, this year I lose count of the times that I had yeesang lol.. I remembered before CNY already had yeesang when celebrating birthday of one of my CFP friends over dinner.. Then I had yeesang on the first day of CNY where we went to a Vegetarian restaurant nearby our house for dinner. First time having vegetarian yeesang and it tasted not bad wey and very healthy some more haha.. Then I remembered joining other groups of friends for catching up and we had yeesang also.. And when I went for event there was yeesang also.. I had yeesang also on the night we Bai Tin Gong and also Chap Goh Mei.. Then there was one or two events that I attended after CNY also they still got yeesang.. Another dinner occasion at the temple way after CNY also got yeesang.. So yeah I think this is the year where I had the most yeesang already lol not sure why I wrote so much when it's all about FOOOOOOOOD LOL

So yeah basically that's about it, nothing really special about CNY this year. Oh wait, got surprise belated gifts from my gor gor hehe and we managed to make a trip up to Genting on the 16th day of CNY, right after Chap Goh Mei hahaha.. Not bad the whole place becomes like a new place to me probably because the last time I went there was like 2-3 years ago already.. So much has changed and the casino I went in wasn't like the one I visited last time. The new one didn't smell that bad and had lesser people smoking as compared to the old one.. So yeah, I just spent time there watching people played and strolling around the place with the most amazing person in my life :D

Hmm.. I think I didn't leave out anything already gua.. Oh ya, managed to catch up with a friend who came back from Taiwan for CNY.. The last time we met was like 2 years ago so yeah, had fun catching up over dinner.. Other than that.. Just abit regret that I didn't take much pics during this CNY.. I mean, pic of myself lol I didn't even take any CNY ootd this year really broke my record haha that's why I have no pics to attach along with this post lol

Wah I realised my English really getting worse already, sounds so broken wey lol..I better stop here before you feel irritated reading such bad English lol hope I didn't bore you to death ooops CIAO!

Wishing you guys a great year ahead aite! :D