The Next Stage

We enter different stages of life from time to time. We attend primary school, moving up to high school, further our studies in university, and then.. Some people plan to pursue Master or PhD, while some choose to step into the working world and strive upwards to the top of corporate ladder. I am now one of those from the latter category. You ask me what it feels like? Hmmmmmm..






Well, I've tried both working on office hours and shift hours. So, I might as well start from here. I like working office hours much much more than shift hours, seriously! Working in the office, facing the laptop, ya. I know I told myself not to work in the office ever since I gone through my internship which left me a miserable eyes sore because of staring at the monitor for long hours. But when it's compared with shift hours, I find office hours surprisingly tolerable. I want my weekends! I want to spend time with my dearest little brother, teasing him, bullying him, or just have a plain conversation with him everyday about his day at school, or tuition. Working shift has deprived me from all these. When I work night shift, the moment I'm heading back home, I'm forced to embrace the fact that no one is welcoming me back as they have all fallen asleep. My little brother will not hug me and help me carrying my working bag when I reached home, like how he used to when I work for office hours. When my family has activities planned ahead for the weekend, I can't join them because I need to work. The same when some of my friends invited me for a meet-up, all I could say, is "Perhaps next time, I'm working". Ya, I'm working while other people are resting; and I'm resting when people are working. Really, man, I felt so left out. I felt the gap widening between me and my family, and the same with my friends. Can you believe that, my little brother has to go to the extend to leave notes on my desk to communicate with me when he couldn't wait for me to return as he has morning class the next day? Gosh, I really hate this.

Next, speaking of spending time with friends, well, there are issues as well. First, the shift hours as mentioned. And second, leave. Ya, I'm talking about annual leave. When we started working, we are bound to oblige certain rules under HR, the standard annual sick leave, annual leave, or whatever leave, that each employee is entitled to. My jimui has newly recruited into an accounting firm with a probationary period of 3 months. So, she does not dare to inquire about her application for annual leave, which left me hanging for more than ONE MONTH. Guess what? Because of her new-found-job, she couldn't keep the promise between us and stood me up. I was soooo depressed when our annual year end trip is forced to cancel. According to her, year-end is the peak period in accounting industry and she doesn't think that she would get approval even if she attempted to apply for few days of leave. Ah, I know it sounds like I'm babbling, or well, complaining, if you want to put it that way, but seriously, this makes me think back of our good old days. When we were still studying, we will always get at least one week holiday, or we call it sem break when we enter college, where some of use get around 3 months of summer break if the university follows UK or US schedule. To be frank, I'm really really in deep regret now that I always took the break for granted. I'm not saying that reading novels or watching dramas is not the right thing to do. It's just that, dramas can be watched when you come back home from work, or novel can be read when you are having lunch break or something. I should have done my best in convincing my dad to bring us for a vacation whenever we have break. But then again, my dad is also working, how could he take few days off from work, right? Fine, long story short, working really ties me down like a slave. But well, who isn't when it comes to earning money? THAT, will be another topic all together. Because, the rich make money work for them instead of the other way round. Ah, easier said than done. I really hope I could be one of them.

Moving on, if the NEXT stage is about working life, then it's inevitable that the money issue comes in. Ya, the fact that I started working, also marks the beginning of paying EVERYTHING on my own. Well, not really everything lar, but almost everything. First, there is my car. My dad used to pay the installment when I was still studying in university. But now, the responsibility falls on my shoulder. I know I dreamed of driving my dream car, but.. Yeah.. The installment is another part of the picture. Then, there are petrol and tolls fees, service & maintenance fees, insurance etc. I know I wanted this. Ya, WANTED. I wanted independence, and I wanted to taste what it's like to be an adult. But once I sipped one leg into the water, it will be impossible to escape. I'm also indebted to my dad when I borrowed his credit card to buy myself a new laptop. I really asked for this, didn't I? I know it feels good to have the ability to pay for myself, like hanging out with friends, or shopping for dresses and footwears and so on. It feels great, really, which usually lasted a few days after I received my pay. Then, I learned to control my spending because, I don't want to be one of those who have to tie their stomach at the end of each month because of overspending. So yeah, discipline and determination, the ultimate challenge when I'm tempted by all the things that I wish I could buy, and all the things that I wish I could do.

But, here comes the most important thing that I discovered for myself. I've always heard people say something like, "Work for what you love, and you'll love what you do", or "We should do what we are passionate for for, we have only a life time", or something like that. I've always thought that I understand what they mean, but I'm so wrong. Ya, I understand what it means as it appeared to be, not what it truly means. After experiencing different job tasks, I've marked those I'm not interested in, and, still exploring what I really love to do. One thing I know for sure, is that I want to do something challenging. I want to learn new things, ya, I like to learn new things because it makes me feel alive. I want to learn new things and apply them into whichever area deemed fit. I don't want to do repetitive tasks everyday that, "Sigh, need to do the same thing again ar?" becomes the only line I'd remind myself everyday I wake up in bed. Really.. I want to feel ALIVE, that's all I ask for. I want to live my life meaningfully, purposefully. But, routine jobs are what most of the freshgrades have signed up for, though might not expecting for, these days. Many of my seniors keep telling me the same thing that, we are freshgrades and that's always how the adults treat us. Cmon, that doesn't mean that I have to do things that even a PMR leaver can do, does it? Not that I'm arrogant or anything, its just that, it feels so pathetic that, a degree holder like me, is doing routines that anyone can do. I feel so ashamed of myself, really. And, what would I feel if I were to be a first-class-honor student? I bet I'd feel worse! Why am I one of the common ones? Why am I not the one who stands out, and do what freshgrades can't usually get to do? Fine, I don't really know how to put my feelings into words, but it's undeniable that I'm feeling quite demotivated of late.

If you'd notice, of all these four points, the money issue seems like the shortest paragraph eh? Of course, it's not a major disheartening fact that I've found myself in it. What does money mean to you, hmm? We could buy many things with money, but not happiness. I'm happy when I went shopping, but how long would it last? It faded away the moment a small little voice at the back of my head said "Routines tomorrow". I mean, I don't mind if I'm doing what I love. Well, there is this article that I found from the net on "Top 25 Most Meaningful Jobs That Pay Well". Nine out of top ten originate from medic, #10 is CEO, around 90% of the top 20 are from medic field, followed by engineering, and almost 90% out of the 25 are of science background. So yeah, am I doomed? I mean, I like science, of course. I like reading about new inventions, new technology, especially those which could help ease climate change and health deterioration and so on. But, I'm not passionate enough to choose science as my major. If I were to pick one out of these 25 jobs to illustrate my interest, that would be CEO. C'mon, there is a reason why I study business alright? I really need to equip myself with all the skills needed to be who I wanna be, and the current job just seem fairly unlikely to help me achieve my goals... I've worked for a charismatic leader before, and I hope this type of leaders would be willing to recruit me under their team. It will be my honour to be given such opportunity to learn from them. Really..

There is a reason why I admire people like Warran Buffett, Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Elon Musk.
I may not have read everything about them, but from the way they talk and sharing experience in some interview sessions,
I can already feel their passion. They are people who enjoy what they do, and contribute to the betterment of mankind.

Ah, have so much to think about..

[FOOD FOR THOUGHT]:
Which of the category below best describes you?
A. Work to live.
B. Live to work.
C. I'm not sure.

Have a great day ahead, my fellow readers..
My best wishes to you, enjoy your life the way you deserve..